


Looking for shelter

by lilucath



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Princess Rover - Freeform, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-21 08:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6045403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilucath/pseuds/lilucath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started when Eretria found Amberle in front of her dormroom looking for shelter because her room was occupied by her roommate and her boyfriend..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disturbance

**Author's Note:**

> I really felt the need of writing a Princess Rover Modern AU and my brain thought of this. I'm sorry.
> 
> Abbie, here you go. You had to wait long enough.

_Knock... Knock... Knock._

The loud sound of someone knocking on her dorm room rudely woke Eretria from her sleep. She had to squint a few times before being able to open her eyes wide enough to catch a glimpse of the alarm clock on her nightstand. The black numbers on the screen read 3 pm and therefore way too early for her to get up. She had worked the entire night and tonight her boss had given her other shift, so she was in desperate need of sleep. Eretria allowed herself to stay in her bed for a few more minutes before kicking off her blanket in order for her to get up. Dressed in only shorts and a tank-top, the cold air in the room hit her without a warning. Quickly she picked up her hooded jacket off of the floor where she had thrown it as she had gotten in early this morning. With shaking fingers she pulled up the zipper and with her arms wrapped around her upper body she scuffed towards the door of her room.

When she opened the door to the hallway she was greeted by the sight of a brunette girl sitting on the ground leaned against the wall across from her door. The girl had a big book laying on her lap and was absentmindedly chewing on the end of her pencil. Next to her she had placed a stack of books and a notepad, the opened page full of illegible scrawl.

When the girl noticed that the door in front of her had been opened, she stopped the chewing on her pencil and looked up to Eretria. Now finally being able to see the face of the girl, she recognized her. The girl was living in the last room to the right at the end of the hallway.  
She also remembered that her friend Wil had had a terrible crush on her last Halloween. They had been at a party together, when he had pointed her out to her. All evening he had been babbling about how beautiful the girl was and for once she had to admit that he was right. The girl had been really stunning, her costume fitting her graceful appearance had only added to her beauty. She had been dressed in a long silver dress, a delicate silver tiara on her head. Wil hadn't stopped talking about her and how pretty the girl was, until the girl had pressed herself against a brunette boy that Eretria remembered seeing in her Robotics class. Lorin or something. The two of them had gotten wasted after that and the rest of the night was a blur, but ever since then Wil had never mentioned her again and finally started studying for his pre-med courses.

Now this girl was sitting on the floor in front of her door in a hallway that was even colder than her own room.

“Oh, thank god, you're home.” The girl took the heavy looking book from her lap, placed it onto the pile of books next to her and got up off the ground. “Eretria, right? I'm Amberle, I live at the end of the hallway. Maybe you remember me from walking by me in the corridor?”

When Eretria didn't answer, the girl continued, “My roommate’s boyfriend is visiting for the weekend and they are having really loud sex. I really need to study, but I can't stay there and there is a snowstorm outside. I thought I could just study out here, but turns out the hallway is very cold. Everyone else is still home for winter break and I saw you this morning and knew you were here. So I figured I would ask you, if I could stay in your room for a while.”

With a look over her shoulder she looked out of her room window to reassure the statement of a snowstorm happening outside. The girl had been downplaying it, it looked like the world was about to end. White snowflakes were being blown fast through the air, the harsh wind causing the trees in front of her window to stand so crooked like they were about to fall. Behind the trees the world seemed to disappear in a white cloud.

She wasn't the most compassionate person,but sight of the girl in the freezing cold hallway with no place to go seemed to a spark a bit of pity inside her.

“Fine.” She heard herself answer. “But you have to be quiet. I had to work all night and I have another shift tonight. I really need the sleep.”

“Of course! Thank you.” Amberle's face was immediately wearing a thankful smile and the girl quickly bent down to pick her books up from the floor. “I promise to be quiet.”

Eretria stepped back to let the girl walk into her room and closed the door behind her.

Amberle was now standing in the middle of the room waiting for directions on where she could stay.

“You can either choose my roommate’s bed or her desk. Seeing as my bed is occupied, my desk looks like a murder happened there and the floor would be too cruel. Even for me.”

Giving her a small, but thankful smile the girl walked across the room, towards the bed that Eretria had pointed to.

Eretria then took off her hooded jacket, placing it over the backrest of her desk chair, turned up the heating a bit, to keep herself and Amberle from freezing to death and returned to her still warm bed. She fell asleep to the rustling of book-pages being turned and the scratching of pencil on paper.

 

When she woke up some time later, the first thing she noticed was the sound of someone humming some catchy tune, the name of which she didn't remember. Confused for a second, because this was definitely not the sound of her roommate's voice she turned around in her bed. After the few seconds that her eyes needed to adjust to the light in the room she made out a figure sitting on her roommate's bed surrounded by a sea of pages. She then remembered letting that girl from the end of the hallway stay here. Amberle. The brunette was sitting crossed-legged on the bed just like she did in the corridor. A big book on her lap, a pencil in the corner of her mouth. She had headphones plucked into her ears, which were very pointy as she noticed just now, quietly humming a song. Eretria now recognized it as Taylor Swift's Out of the woods. With her free hand Amberle was skimming the open books and papers around her. When she finally found what she was looking for her lips turned into a small smile that still managed to light up her entire face.

Eretria noticed how the corners of her own mouth slowly turned upwards as well as she studied the girl sitting across the room. Mentally she cursed herself, pretty girls had always been her weakness. And Amberle definitely counted as a pretty. Quite beautiful actually. Quickly she shook off the thought and sat up in her bed.

The yawn escaping her mouth as she was stretching her arms over her head got the attention of the brunette. She stopped humming and acknowledged her wakening with a smile before returning her focus back on her studies.

Eretria slowly got out of bed, happily noticing that the room wasn't nearly as cold as it had been before. A glance out of the window told her that the snowstorm had stopped and the world was now covered by at least thirty centimeters of snow.

With a few internalized movements she made her bed. Something she had been loathing her entire life but now falling dead tired into a made bed felt way better than having to sleep in a messy bed.

The growling of her stomach filled her ears and she remembered she hadn't eaten anything since last night. Being a student wasn't enough, her nights of work always threw her off a regular eating schedule. A glimpse into the drawer where she kept her snacks told her that her shopping for grocery's schedule was out of whack as well.

“Amberle?”, she called out.

The girl removed her headphones for her ears and looked at Eretria expectantly.

“I'm ordering pizza. Do you want one?” She was already digging through the mess on her desk, knowing that the pamphlet for her favorite pizza place had to be in there somewhere. Of course Eretria already knew what she was going to order, but Amberle might not.

“Sure.” The girl nodded and when Eretria handed her the flyer, she added after looking over the menu for a moment, “A small pizza with mushrooms for me, please.”

“Alright.” Having the number already saved in her phone she pressed the call and the speaker button. She placed the phone on a pile of books on her desk and opened her wardrobe.

After a few rings her favorite employee picked up. “Antonio's Pizza.”

“Wil, my man.” She had met the boy a few months back and because of her undying love of pizza she had befriended the entire work staff in the diner he was working at. None of the others were as awesome and as annoying as him though.

“Eretria. Good to hear you're alive. You haven't been around for a few days.”

“I know, I know. Work and university keeps me too busy from seeing your ugly face again.” She said, while roaming through her closet trying to find something to wear.

“Now I know why I didn't miss you.”

“Shut up. You love me, man.”

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Wil huffed surrendering. ”What can I do for you today?”

“My usual and a small pizza with mushrooms.”

“Oh, you have company?” The sound of a smirk in his voice was promising that nothing good was leaving his mouth next.

“Yeah, and you're on speaker, so behave.”

“What? Afraid I might say something, that'll scare away the girl you are probably trying to woo very unsuccessfully right now?”

Hearing Amberle chuckle from her side of the room, Eretria felt herself blush. Just a bit, but that was definitely not okay. She was so not loosing her cool today. “Yeah, yeah, keep talking. Just know that the girl is Amberle.”

Wil didn't answer at first and she prayed that he wouldn't say anything stupid.

“Niiiice.” He finally broke his silence and if Eretria hadn't been red before she for sure was now.

“Shut up, idiot. She is just studying here.” She definitely regretted putting him on speaker, but she couldn't have known he'd pick up. It could have been anybody.

“What ever you say. I gotta go back to work now. Allanon will call you as soon as he arrives with the delivery.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

“It's my job, remember? See you around, bro”

“Yeah, see you. Bye.” She hung up by tapping the end call button on her phone and then turned back to Amberle, who was looking at her with expression that she couldn't really place.

“What?” she asked maybe a bit too rude, but it didn't seem to shake to brunette whose was now definitely looking at her with smugness.

“Nothing, it's just that... You do know me. And apparently so does this Wil.” Amberle's eyebrow was raised cheekily.

“Never said I didn't.” Eretria replied dry. When she turned back to her closet, she added, “I'm gonna take a shower really quick. You okay with being alone for a bit? If the pizza guy calls, my wallet is somewhere in that mess on my desk.”

“You trust me with that?” Amberle's eyes widened surprised.

“I know where to go if anything is missing.”

“Right. Yes, I am fine with being alone for a while.” The girl brought her attention back to her books.

Eretria placed her phone on the bedside table next to Amberle. Grabbing the towel hanging on a hook on her wall and with a pile of fresh clothes and a shampoo bottle in her arm she left the room.

 

After good fifteen minutes she came back to her room, her wet hair wrapped in her towel on her head. She threw her dirty clothes into the laundry basket underneath her table., which she noticed was very full. The thought about wash day was already damping her mood.

“Amberle, sorry to disturb your studying. I have to blow-dry my hair.” Eretria apologized as she pulled the hair dryer out of a drawer. “In this shitty weather, leaving the house with wet hair would be certain death.”

“Don't worry. It's your room. I can barely concentrate anymore anyway.” The pencil that had been victim to her nervous chewing at its end was now tucked behind her ear.

It took her a while to comb through her hair to get it dry enough for her to straighten the braids that had come loose during her sleep and the shower and braid them in her usual way again.

 

Once she was done she scuffled back to her roommate's bed side table to pick up her phone. While in the shower she had gotten a text from Wil. She owned one of those mobile phones which show you the text even before you have unlocked the screen.

_What have you done to have this beautiful creature in your room?_

After reading the message she prayed that Amberle hadn't looked at her phone.

Just in that moment she received another text from her friend.

_Nicely done. Hat's off to you._

She felt a smile crawl on her face as she read his message.

“So you can smile.” She shrugged as Amberle's voice rung out in the room. The brunette must had been watching her.

“Hum?” She only managed to press out while replying to Wil with a middlefinger-emoji.

“Its just all those times I have seen you around, you never smiled.”

“You remembered seeing me around?” This surprised Eretria. She was usually someone easily being overlooked.

“I guess we both knew off each other after all.”Amberle sounded mysterious, but she didn't get the chance to follow up on her statement, because in that moment her phone started to ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings might change later.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	2. Pizza with a message

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tag "Mentions of abuse" was added

Her phone still in her hand she answered the call.

“Yes?”

“It's Allanon. Your pizzas are here.”

“Alright. I'll be right down.”

Eretria threw her phone on her bed and rummaged around in the mess on her desk looking for her wallet. When she finally found it underneath some pens and books she wondered how it was already buried that deep again after she had only put it onto of the pile of all sorts of things this morning.

 

When Eretria came back with two pizza boxes, Amberle had collected all her pages and books and stacked them into a pile.

Eretria settled down in front of her bed, leaning against it, placing her own pizza box on her lap. Amberle's box she shoved in the direction of the brunette together with a motion for her to sit down.

“The money for the pizza? Do you want me to get it now?”

“No. It's alright. You'll get it the next time.” She winked at her and finally Amberle sat down across from her.

Eretria opened her box and joyfully dug in her vegetable-pizza. Amberle on the other hand lifted the lid and started to chuckle.

“What's wrong?” She asked with her hand covering her mouth.

“It seems as if your friend Wil has written me a message.”

“What?” Eretria couldn't believe her ears.

Wordless the brunette turned her box, so she could read what her friend had written on the inside of the lid.

_Amberle, Eretria is not as tough as she looks. A total softy. But give her a shot, will you. ;)_

Eretria couldn't believe was she was reading. “Impossible that boy. He will have to pay for that one. Sorry about him.”

“It's alright. It's kind of cute. He is just trying to get you some.” She laughed and the sound of that forced the corners of her lips to twitch upwards as well. ”So who is he?”

“I met him at the pizza place, because it's on my route to work and I spend a lot of time there. One day he was working and had nothing to do, so we got talking and he hasn't stopped talking since.”

“And why is he asking me to give you a shot?”Amberle had her eyebrow raised cheekily.

“I don't know. He was the one with the crush on you.” Eretria figured that if Wil had gotten her into his mess, the least she could do was take him down with her.

“He had a crush on me?” The brunette sounded really surprised and her eyes widened.

“Yeah, last Halloween. We saw you at a party. You were wearing that silver dress and...”

At the mentioning of the color of her dress, Amberle's eyebrow was once again jerked upwards and she grinned while biting in another slice of her pizza.”He stopped talking about you though once that we saw you and that Lorin guy.” With that Eretria got up from the floor, walked over to her cupboard and took two mugs reading Antonio's pizza out of a shelf. Wil had given them to her for Christmas. She picked up a water bottle from the crate underneath her desk and returned to the floor. “You want some?”

Amberle nodded.”Yes. Thank you.” Once Eretria had filled her mug and passed it into her hand, she took a sip.” You know Lorin?”

“Yep. He is in my Robotics class.”

“Oh.”

”Are you and he still...” She didn't feel the need to finish that sentence.

“No. No.” The brunette shook her head.”That didn't work out.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“It's alright.”

After Amberle's last answer the both of them sat in silence for a bit, enjoying their food.

“So if your friend wants me to give you a shot, you will have to tell me a bit about you.” The wink that followed on Amberle's comment made Eretria blush and caused her to choke on her food. She quickly took a gulp of water from her mug.

“Well.” She answered once her coughing had died down, under the amused smirk of Amberle. “I study mechanical engineering in the third semester and I work night-shifts in a factory as a warehouse unloader, because forklift-driving is a lot of fun. Besides that and hanging out too much with a stupid pre-med pizza guy I don't really do much. What about you?”

“I study law in the third semester and have a waitress job, that in comparison to driving around with a forklift sounds really boring.”

“I probably wouldn't be working nights in an empty warehouse if I were as good with people as you need to be to be able to work as a waitress.”

“You're not good with people, hum?” Amberle sounded surprised.

“Yeah, so I've been told.”

“You've been told that? By who?”

“My father.” Eretria dryly bit into the slice of pizza she was holding in that moment.

“Your father might have said that, but I guess there are always some exceptions to the rule.”

Eretria didn't understand what she meant and must have looked pretty clueless.”What rule?”

“I mean, obviously you aren't bad with everyone. You managed to befriend Wil and apparently all the other people working there.”

“I guess so.” She chewed thoughtful on her pizza.

“And now you manage to talk to me alright.”

“A princess does make a good exception.”

“Princess?”

“Because of that party.”

“See? Look at us bonding. You already have a nickname for me.”

For the first time that day, Eretria's smile was honest and apparently Amberle noticed that as well because her smile grew just as big. “Why aren't you home for the winterbreak though? I mean, it is the last real opportunity to go home before our next exams.”

Eretria thought about telling her the truth for a moment, but then decided against it. Her backstory wasn't something she liked to talk about and if she admitted that she rather shoot herself in the knee before going back to Cephalo, her adoptive father, telling her story would be inevitable. And telling a total stranger about her abusive father wasn't something she wanted to do. “I had too much work and needed to catch up on some studying. What about you?”

After a short moment of silence Amberle replied: “No work. But studying.” Eretria could tell that the girl wasn't telling the entire truth, but she didn't push. Amberle must have had a reason not to tell her what ever it was that she wasn't telling her. Just like she did.

 

After they finished their pizzas Eretria placed the boxes next to the door, so she could take them with her on her way outside. She picked up her steal-toed shoes and sat down on her bed in order to bind them properly. A heavy packet landing on her foot had happened once, and she would rather not have that happening again and if it were to happen, her toes would had least be protected by steal.

As Amberle watched her put on her shoes she stood up as well. “I should probably go.”

“Alright.”

The brunette lifted her pile of books up from the floor and opened the door. The sound of something wooden banging against a wall and muffled screams reached both of their ears.

With a desperate expression on her face, Amberle turned to Eretria. “Thank you so much for letting me stay over. I guess the corridor will be my home for the weekend.”

She watched the girl step into the hallway and as wave of cold air hit her the rest of her reservations against the girl who was so desperately trying to put on a brave face melted.

“Forget it. The hallway is way too cold. Get back in here. You can stay here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Come on.” Eretria watched Amberle walk back in as she walked over to her closet. After a quick search through the different shelves she pulled out an oversized shirt and some pajama pants. “Here.” She placed them onto the stack of books that Amberle was still holding in her arm as she was standing in the middle of the room unsure what to do. Out of a drawer that was crammed with all sort of thinks she yanked out an unused toothbrush still sealed in its packaging. Together with her toothpaste she laid it on top of the clothes in Amberle's arm.

“Do you have people staying over often?”

“No. Never. Not a big fan of people invading my space.” Eretria shook her head and gestured toward the bed of her roommate. “You can sleep in my roommate’s bed. She is very clean, in case you wondering.”

“Won't she mind?”

“Na, don't think so. She barely sleeps in that bed anyway. She is at her girlfriend's place a lot.”

“Thank you, Eretria. Thank you so much.”

“Don't sweat it. If I were in your situation, you would do the same.”

“Probably not, because you would still be sitting in that freezing hallway, refusing to ask anyone for a place to stay.”

Hearing Amberle make that comment caused her to laugh. It was a pretty accurate thing to say. This girl had her figured out really fast.

“You are probably right.” With a glance at the clock in mobile phone and seeing that she was already running late she added, “You'll be alright?”

“Yes, thank you. For everything.”

Eretria gave her another small smile that was returned by smile so warm, that the thought about having to leave and step into the freezing winter world outside only seemed so much crueler and colder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings might change later.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	3. Diner talk

When Eretria came back at around 5 am in the morning, she could hear Amberle's quiet breath from her roommate's side of the room. Trying not to wake her she only turned on the small lamp on her bedside table. She could now make out the brunette laying on the bed. She was wearing the clothes she had handed her before she had left and was completely tangled up in the blanket. Eretria couldn't help but to think that the girl looked really cute with her mouth slightly opened and her hair spread wild across the pillow.

Her work-clothes quickly found their way onto her desk chair and she crawled into her bed.

 

Her alarm went off at 2 pm that afternoon and caused her to jolt up in her bed. She would never get used to the sirens howling through her room, but everything else failed in waking her up. Zora, her roommate, had try to kill her one morning when Zora had surprisingly slept over and Eretria had forgotten to change her ringtone.

The bed on the other side of the room was abandoned and neatly made. When she wanted to grab her phone she noticed a post-it sticking to the desk next to it. In neat handwriting someone had written: _Thanks against for the shelter and the pizza. I owe you one. - Amberle_ Without a warning a small smile crept on her face.

 

Eretria spent the entire day studying for her own classes. She was smart, sometimes too smart for her own good, but even she couldn't pass her classes without looking at the material a few times.

Her brain was on the brink of turning into mush as a soft knock on her door brought her the  
distraction she had been longing for for the last few hours.

When she opened the door, she found Amberle standing in front of it.

“Amberle. Hey.”

“Hey.”A big smile formed on her face. “Listen. We want to head out to grab a bite, and I thought I would ask you if you wanted to tag along. And seeing as I owe you one.. My treat. If you don't have anything better to do.”

The thought alone about returning to her books made her cringe. “No. Sounds good. I don't have anything better to do. Just...” Eretria looked down on herself. “Give me a second. I might need to change out my PJs.”

“Of course.”

Quickly Eretria closed her door again and ran through her room, changing into something suitable for a cold winter day.

Once she was done, she opened her door. Amberle was leaning against the wall across from it and looked up from her phone at the sound of the door closing behind Eretria.

“Done?

“Yep.” She nodded.

“Alright. The others are waiting in the foyer.”

 

When they stepped out of the stairwell into the entrance hall, the only people around were a blonde girl, that Eretria recognized from seeing in the hallway and a brunette boy, who were kissing each other so hard that it looked like they were trying to eat the others face.

“Hey guys. Behave.” Amberle called out as they made their way over to them.

When they finally parted, the blonde girl smiled slightly flustered and introduced them. “Hey. I'm sure we've met before but I'm Catania and this is my boyfriend Bendon.”

“Eretria.” She manage to force a small lifeless smile on her lips, but it was returned by Catania with such a warm expression that Eretria felt guilty for not being nicer to the girl.

 

Their walk through the snow-covered streets was short. Catania and Bendon walked in front of them, practically glued at their hips. Eretria and Amberle followed a few steps behind.

“So what did you do today?” Amberle smiled at Eretria and suddenly she felt not that cold anymore.

“Nothing much. I slept and then studied. How about you? Did they let you stay in your room?”

“No, they didn't. I went to the library. No snowstorm today.”

“Right.”

“But the library chairs aren't nearly as comfortable as your roommate's bed.”

“You haven't tried my bed yet.” Eretria was surprised hearing herself say something like this and felt herself blush. She had no idea where this comment had came from, but as she watched how the color of Amberle's cheeks started to resemble the color of a tomato her embarrassment turned into amusement and some sort of pride.

They reached the diner in that moment and Catania and Bendon already walked inside as Amberle smirked at her. “True. But who knows... That day might come soon.” With that she winked at her and followed her roommate into the restaurant.

For a few seconds Eretria was too stunned to answer, but then the cold crept in between her clothes and she hurried after the three of them, an impressed smile playing around the corners of her lips.

 

The diner was cheap, affordable for students, but their food was delicious anyway and Eretria dug into her cheese burger and fries as soon as their arrived. Just like the day before, she had been preoccupied with everything else, but eating.

Much to her own surprise she actually seemed to enjoy the company of the others. Catania seemed really nice and Bendon looked at her like she was his entire world. She couldn't help but to sympathize with them. And yesterday she had already noticed that she didn't mind having Amberle around. She had been a loner her entire life. With her father always moving them from town to town she never had had the chance to find real friends. Wil had been the first person she didn't dread having around, but even his presence had been hard to get used to the first few weeks. Most people had gotten bored or run out of patience before really getting to know her, but not the stubborn blond boy. It didn't bother him that she didn't talk much, he liked to hear himself talk too much for that. And once she had warmed up to him, she had started to question herself why she had always stopped herself in becoming friends with someone.

“I really wanted to apologize for being the reason that you couldn't go into your own room.” Bendon was looking at Amberle in a contritely way, when Eretria turned her focus back on their conversation.

“No. It's alright. I understand. You two haven't seen each other in a while and you needed some alone time. And no one could have known about that snowstorm. A little warning would have been nice though. That way I could have prepared and found myself somewhere to stay. And not just ambushed Eretria.”

While mentioning her name, Amberle gave her a small smile.

“It's alright.” Eretria shrugged.

“No, you didn't have to do that. Letting a total stranger stay over.” Catania smiled her warm smile again.

“She wasn't a total stranger.” Eretria winked at Amberle and the girl showed she had gotten the hint by mumbling affirmative noise while grinning and shoving fries in her mouth.

“You two knew each other? I didn't know that.” The blonde girl seemed really surprised.

“Neither did we.” Amberle smirked.

“Right. By the way you never followed up on that 'I guess we both knew of each other after all. What was that about?”

“Oh yeah. At that Halloween party where you and Wil apparently saw me... Well when Lorin and I were leaving, we literally fell over two people sitting in the hallway blocking the frontdoor. Both very drunk, one brunette girl wearing a very cute white dress and a boy with a lot of leaves in his long blond hair, refusing to let anyone pass who didn't answer their riddle about something called the bloodfire.”

“I don't remember that at all.” The embarrassment was already crawling through her bones, turning her cheeks as red as a tomato.

“You two were very drunk. But it was so cute. You were pouting the entire time, because no one wanted to answer your riddle. And the blonde guy couldn't decide if he wanted to run away or hit Lorin when he tried to talk to him about moving away from the door.”

“That blond guy was Wil.”

“I guess now I know why he wanted to hit him.” Amberle grinned at her.

“That surprises me. Wil is not a big fan of hitting someone, more of a we can talk-and-argue-about-it-for-hours-kinda-guy.”

“He never hit him. You stopped him by whispering into his ear not very quietly: 'Not in front of the pretty lady.' while pointing to me.”

“I did that?”

“Yep.” The popped the 'p' and put a fry into her mouth as she was grinning at Eretria.

“I'm so sorry.” She hid her eyes behind her eyes while shaking her head unable to believe that she had made such a big fool out of herself..

“It's alright. It was very cute and very funny.”

Bendon had been looking at his watch every few minutes. “Honey. I gotta go get my things. My train leaves in a bit.”

"Okay. Amberle? Is it okay, if I leave you two here? Seeing as both of you haven't finished your food.” Catania stood up and gestured at their plates in front of them, both still at least half full with fries and burger.

“Yeah, sure.”

Bendon threw a few dollar notes on the table. “That should be enough for the two of us. Nice to meet you Eretria. See you around.”

“Yeah. Nice meeting you too.”

The couple said their goodbyes leaving the two of them alone. They ate the rest of the meal talking more about their courses and why they were studying it. It turned out Amberle's family was full of lawyers and her grandfather was a judge and she wanted to step into their footsteps. Eretria studied mechanical engineering because she liked taking things apart to see how they worked and putting them back together after.

“I really want some ice cream.” Amberle had been eyeing the menu for the last five minutes.

“It's way below zero outside and you want ice cream?” Her amusement was clearly audible in her tone.

“Yes. It is never too cold for ice cream.”

When a waitress walked by their table, Amberle ordered some vanilla ice cream with two spoons. “In case you change your mind.”

Once the desert arrived Amberle started to eat it in a way that made Eretria's mouth dry and she had to shallow hard. The girl put the spoon in her mouth, gently pulling it out while humming satisfied. Her eyes were glued to Amberle's lips, she couldn't help herself.

“Remind me to put that on the list.”

“What list?”

“The list of what not to do with you.”

A cocky expression appeared on Amberle's face and the next bit of ice cream she ate even slower, never breaking eye contact with Eretria. “Why? Don't you enjoy watching me eat ice cream?” Her voice was thick with desire and yet sounded amused.

She had to swallow before she was able to answer. “Who doesn't enjoy watching someone else eat in a very X-rated way?”

“You should give it a try. It's fun and the ice is delicious.”

“If you say so.” Eretria picked up her spoon from the table and ate the ice crram just like Amberle had before. Much to her delight she saw that the girl took a shocked breath as well and wasn't able to take her eyes away from Eretria's lips.

“You're right. This is fun.”

 

Their walk home was lightened by streetlights and the moon in the cloudless sky. The snow on the streets and trees around them glistened like a million stars.

“Thank you for getting the bill.”

“Of course. I owed you one for the pizza.”

“True. And just so you know. If you ever find yourself homeless again you can come over.”

“That is very kind of you.” The smile that appeared on Amberle's face made her heart beat faster.

“I just enjoy listening to you hum Taylor Swift.”

Amberle grinned at her comment. “Maybe we should exchange numbers though. That way we could probably coordinate things a bit better.”

“Sure.”

They switched mobile phones, allowing the other to type in their own number.

When Amberle handed her her phone back Eretria could read _New contact saved: Princess_ off of the screen.

 

While trying to fumble her key into the lock of her dorm room she watched Amberle walk towards her own room.

“Goodnight, Eretria. See you around.”

“See you around princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings might change later.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	4. Round Two

The next week seemed to pass by quickly. Eretria was studying every day for the upcoming exams. And because she and Amberle were texting each other constantly she knew that the brunette was doing the same. They had barely seen each other during the week, everytime they ran into each other one of them were already late for being somewhere else.

On Tuesday when Eretria came back from her classes she found the clothes she had lend Amberle neatly folded on her bed.

Zora explained the pile of clothing. “The brunette chick from down the hall was here. Amberle or something like that. She told me to say that she thanks you of these.”

As she picked up them up to put them in her closet again she couldn't help but to remember how cute Amberle had looked in her clothes while sleeping and a smile crept on her face

“Why are you smiling like that?” Apparently Zora had watched her and she hurried to put on her usual stoic expression.

“I don't know what you mean.”

“Something happened between the two of you, didn't it?” Eretria didn't like the smirk that appeared on Zora's face.

“No. She just stayed here one night. Her own room was occupied. Don't worry I washed your sheets.”

Her roommate laughed and let out a snort. “You know you two could have just had sex on your bed.”

“We didn't sleep together.”

“Your face tells a different story.”

“I'm serious. She's straight.”

“Do you know that for sure?”

“She had a boyfriend a few months back.”

She let out a loud barking laughter. “So what? I had a boyfriend once and look at me now. Raging lesbian. We all make mistakes.”

“I'm not even sure if we are friends yet.”

“You don't need to be friends with someone to sleep with them.” With that Zora left the room, leaving Eretria behind the pieces of clothing still in her hand.

 

The next weekend was the weekend before the exams started and Zora explained to Eretria that she would be staying in their room for the next few days, because if she slept over at her girlfriend's place she would get neither sleep nor find time to study. Eretria liked the thought of not being alone for once. Studying alone could only be interesting for so long. And another person in the room was always a welcomed distraction.

Apparently just like Zora, Bendon had decided to stay over for the weekend as well, because during her last class Friday afternoon, a very interesting lecture about the different applications of fittings and couplings in the car industry, she received a text message from Amberle.

_Are you in your room and in desperate need for a studybudy? Because Bendon's exams have been moved, so he decided to visit. And guess what... I've just been kicked out again._

Her class wasn't supposed to be over for another hour, so she replied quickly. _No. Sorry princess. Still in class. But Zora is there. Maybe she'll let you in._

The answer came not even a minute later. _Damnit. Thanks, but no... I don't really know her. And no snowstorm so... Library here I come._

 _You didn't know me either._ Amberle declining to staying with Zora surprised Eretria.

_True, but I know you now. (:_

 

The next 60 minutes of the lecture seemed to last an eternity. Too often than she liked to admit Eretria found herself staring into space thinking about the brunette. She wondered if she were sitting in the library just like she had in her room. Pages over pages spilled around her, books in between, absentmindedly chewing on the end of her pencil, looking too damn adorable.

As soon as her professor announced the end of his presentation she jumped up from her chair as if she had been stung by an adder and hurried out of the room. The walk to the library through the still snow-covered campus was quick. To reach the tall dark library-building she only had to walk around the bio-labs and the cafeteria.

It was around 5 pm and the library was filled with students running quietly in between the shelves, big piles of books in their hands, students standing in front of the counter or computers cursing under their breath because the book they needed wasn't available, the tables all around the room occupied by books and papers while their owners hovered over them tearing their hair out.

It took Eretria a while to spot Amberle in this silent chaos. But in the end she found the girl sitting alone at a table in the back of the library just like she had pictured it. The pencil in the corner of her mouth surrounded by a sea of pages.

A sudden wave of nervousness hit her as her eyes lingered on the girl who was rapt up in thoughts. Something about Amberle made her incredible insecure. Her palms had started to sweat and she was suddenly feeling too hot. She realized was developing a serious crush on the girl and it scared her to death. Watching the girl from afar was already enough to make her heartbeat speed up.

When she finally had collected enough of her remaining courage she slowly walked up to Amberle's table. Her shadow that fell on the pages made the brunette look up and as Eretria watched a warm smile form on Amberle's lips the weight on her heart seemed to disappear.

“Hey Eretria. What are you doing here?”

“Seeing if you want some company I guess.”

“Sure. Studying alone is terribly boring. Even if we are not studying the same thing. Let me just...” Amberle started to shove the majority of her material on the table into a big unorganized pile. “There.”

Eretria's lips twitched upwards smiling at the girl for a second only to return to their usual stoic state. “Thanks.” She let herself fall onto the free chair next to Amberle, threw her bag on the floor and put her notes from her last lecture on the table.

The girls spent the next few hours sitting quietly side by side, Eretria hovering over her fittings and couplings notes while Amberle studied something that looked a lot like family law. Eretria caught herself quite often watching how Amberle looked up something in her law books and then scrabbled the found information down on a piece of paper while the tip of her tongue peaked out of the corner of her mouth.

 

When the two of them walked back through the dark snowy night towards their dorm, Amberle linked their arms. Eretria couldn't help herself but to shrug together. She was not used to people touching her. Her father had been abusive towards her her entire life. With the years she had gotten used to being beat up whenever she did something that Cephalo didn't like or when he felt like beating her up. She had managed to get away from him, but she was still jumpy when someone touched her without a warning.

To play over her shrugging she quickly looked at Amberle with a questioning expression.

“I'm cold.” The girl shrugged apologetically.

“Then lets hurry up to get you inside.” Both started to accelerate their steps until they were practically running along the path. Their linked arms forced their running to look slightly ridiculous and they kept pocking each other with their elbows in the stomach until Amberle changed their position by taking Eretria by the hand. Amberle's fingers interlaced with hers sent a jolt of electricity through her veins and her heart jumped. Their giggles echoed through the dark night.

They reached their dorm without slipping on ice or snow, but with fast and shallow breaths. It took them a minute to catch their breaths as both of them stood in the foyer supporting themselves against the wall smiling at each other, their hands still linked.

The sound of the door to the staircase being shut very loudly and the following of footsteps made both of them jump in their skin and Eretria let go of Amberle's hand as the person who had created the noise stepped out of the stairwell. The brunette only looked a bit confused, but shrugged it off without commenting on Eretria's action.

“I can't wait until exams are over. Late hours in the library are no fun.” Amberle stated as they started walking up the stairs.

“Same. Semester-break can't come soon enough.”

 

While Eretria was searching for her key in the depth of her bag, she watched Amberle walk towards her room. She suddenly stopped her motion and tilted her head slightly. “Do you hear that?”

Eretria perked up her ears and the sound of muffed moans reached her ear.

Amberle angry stamped her foot onto the floor. “They have to be kidding me. He is in that room more than I am and I live there.”

“Amberle.” She carefully called out, trying to get the girl's attention.

But Amberle was still rambling and didn't seem to hear her. “They have some freaking nerves. The next time this happens, I will throw a freaking tantrum. It's so late and I am so tired and now I can't even go into my own room.”

“Amberle!” Her voice was not louder and more demanding.

“What?” The girl turned towards her, an enraged expression on her face.

“You can stay here again.”

“But isn't your roommate back?” Amberle ran her hand through her hair and sighed in desperation.

“Oh yeah, right.” She finally found her key hidden between two heavy books.

“What am I gonna do? I will freeze to death out here in the hallway. I swear to god I will kill the two of them.”

“We could... We could share, I guess.” Her voice was quiet and she could barely hear it herself.

“What?”

Eretria cleared her throat and repeated with a more steady voice. “We could share my bed.” Her fingers were fumbling on her set of keys and she didn't manage to look up to meet Amberle's eyes.

“I thought we weren't a big fan of people invading your space?” She was slowly walking towards her, away from her room.

“You're not people.” Before Amberle could see that she was getting flustered she quickly pushed her key into the lock, turned it and hurried into her room. The thought of sharing a bed with Amberle just dawned on her then and her hands started to sweat again.

The room was empty, no sign of Zora, but her bag was laying on her bed.

Even before Amberle had entered the room, Eretria had already started to roam through her closet searching for something to sleep in for herself and the brunette.

She quickly handed the girl the change of clothes, grabbed her washbag and fled out of the room.

 

When she came back from making herself ready for bed, Amberle had already changed into her PJs, sat on the corner of her bed and typed what looked like a very angry message into her phone.

Eretria fished her toothpaste out of her washbag and handed it the girl together with the toothbrush that Amberle had used the last time.

“Sorry. I just have to yell at Catania very quick. That girl has got some nerves. Maybe we should occupy my room like that at some point as well.”

She had to swallow hard as she heard these words leave Amberle's mouth and her mind wandered to places that were nowhere near PG 13. The fact that Amberle was wearing one of her shirts wasn't helping either.

Eretria felt how she raised one eyebrow cocky and smirked. “Is that supposed to be an offer?”

Amberle turned immediately bright red as she realized what she had said before. “Oh. I mean..” The girl quickly stood up without looking at her and threw her phone on the pile of her clothes she had folded neatly next to her bag. “I gotta go brush my teeth.” And with that Amberle fled out of the room just like Eretria had a few minutes before.

She watched how the girl closed the door behind her and grinned pleased. Making Amberle blush was quickly becoming one of her favorite things to do. Her stomach always fluttered when the girl got flustered because of her. But making Amberle smile was even more satisfying.

She then noticed the mess of notes and books that were still laying on her bed from this morning, when she had studied in bed before her afternoon classes had started.

Within a few minutes she had cleared her bed from her reading material.

As she was waiting for Amberle to return she crawled underneath her blanket and sent Wil a text asking if he was working his usual shift on Sunday. She hadn't seen the boy in a few weeks and much to her own surprise missed him very much. Talking to him always helped her sort out her thoughts and she desperately needed to talk to him about Amberle. Partly because she wanted to tease him about her sudden closeness to the girl. She knew he was no longer crushing on her but it would still be fun. Another part of her longed for talking to the boy because Amberle was confusing and scaring her. This thing between them, she didn't even knew if this was a friendship or maybe even more, was causing her mind to spin. She had never gotten this close to someone in such a short period of time and the fact that she cared deeply for the girl, even if she didn't like to admit that she did, was something she needed the advice of her best friend on. A week ago never in her wildest dreams she had allowed someone to stay in her room that she barely knew, let alone sleep in the same bed as them.

The sound of the doorknob being turned brought her back to reality and she watched Amberle shuffle into the room.

“Can you turn off the overhead light?” Eretria pushed the button of the lamp on her nightstand.

“Sure.” A quick tap on the light switch extinguished the ceiling lamp and Amberle walked towards the bed.

The girl smiled at her as she slowly joined her in bed. A wave of cold air hit her as she lifted the blanket, but it was the soft touch of Amberle's soft skin against hers made her shiver. Her bed was barely big enough for two people and she felt the warmth of the girl's where their bodies were touching.

Suddenly darkness overcame the room and she figured that Amberle had turned of the bedsidetable-lamp.

Eretria felt how Amberle shifted her weight and turned herself so she was looking at her, but she remained frozen laying on her back, her eyes fixated on an spot on the, in the pitch black darkness, not visible ceiling.

“Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“Any time.”

Once again she felt how the girl moved and then suddenly her head was leaned against her shoulder and a hand placed on her upper arm.

“Goodnight, Eretria .”

“Night, princess.”

She closed her eyes and somehow instead of making her feel uneasy, the touch of the girl next to her made her sink into a calm, deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings might change later.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	5. Comfortable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long for me to post a new chapter. I am still grieving over the fact that Amberle is now a tree. (and Lexa, or course)  
> I have an exam coming up, meaning I can't spend the entire day writing. I will try and post new chapters as soon as possible.

Something terribly tickling her face woke Eretria from her sleep. At first she tried to blow what ever it was out of her face, but as that didn't work she tired to lift her arm. Only then she noticed that something heavy was laying on her right entire side and hindered her arm from moving. So she used her left hand instead to wipe something that felt a lot like hair out of her face.

When her eyes finally had gotten used to the light that was falling into the room through the window and she managed to keep them open long enough for her to see something. Her glance fell on a brunette laying half on top of her. Her left arm was wrapped around her waist and her head on her chest. It had been her hair that had tickled her face. Amberle's eyes were still closed and her breath was calm and steady.

She allowed her eyes to linger on the girl. Her glance wandered over the soft skin and somehow always found herself being drawn to Amberle's lips.

“Can you please stop staring at me?” Amberle spoke slowly and her voice was husky, still carrying sleep. She hadn't even opened her eyes but a small smirk was playing around the corners of her lips.

“I'm not... I'm not staring.” She could feel herself already getting flustered again and suddenly it was very hot underneath the blanket and Amberle.

“Sure.” Amberle mumbled and nestled herself even closer towards her.

Eretria could barely manage to turn her head, but as she saw that Zora's bed was empty she relaxed. It wasn't that she minded laying like this with Amberle, she just wasn't to keen about having a conversation with Zora about what exactly was going between the two of them again.

She pulled her right arm out from laying half underneath Amberle, wrapped it around the girl and closed her eyes again. This was easily something she could get used to.

 

The noise of doorknob being turned a few moments later made both of the girls jump in their skin, but Amberle remained glued to her side even as Eretria removed her arm from her waist.

Zora walked into the room, from the towel wrapped around her hair returning from a shower. “Morning you two lovebirds. Did you have a good night of sleep?” 

Eretria was just about to bark out a snarky comment as Amberle stopped her by mumbling sleepy: ”Yes thank you. What about you?”

“Oh yes. Not as comfortable as my girlfriend's bed. Thank you.”

“I get that. Sharing a bed with someone else always makes it so much more cosy.”

“And it looks like you two are very comfortable.”

“Yes. Eretria is a very soft pillow.” Just as if she was trying to confirm her words she pulled Eretria a bit closer.

“You two know that I am still here right?”

Amberle then opened her eyes and titled her head so she could look at her. “Yes. We do know that.”

The brunette released Eretria from her hold, sat up slowly by swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Eretria immediately missed the contact between their bodies, but her mind stopped working as she saw what Amberle did next. She started to stretch herself, her arms lifted over her hand. This caused her shirt to be pushed upwards allowing Eretria's glance to fall on the soft skin of her stomach. Her mouth immediately went dry and she inhaled sharply as her eyes wandered along the toned abs of the girl.

Apparently this didn't go unseen by Zora, because her roommate cleared her throat and looked at her amused, one eyebrow raised.

“So what are you plans for today? Anything special planned?” Eretria had been scared that Zora would say something about her staring as she had opened her mouth, but she was relieved that the girl decided not to sell her out.

“No. Just study for my first exam on Tuesday. Family law is a bitch.” Amberle let herself fall back onto the bed.

“Same. My exam about failure analysis won't write itself. What about you?”

“Library-date with my girl. So you two have the room all to yourself. Have fun.” With that and a wink in Eretria's direction Zora left the room. 

 

It took her a few moment to pull her legs out underneath Amberle who was still laying on her back on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Okay, how about breakfast? We can either go eat in the cafeteria or...” Eretria had walked over to her cupboard and checked one of the shelves. “Or we can eat dry cornflakes.” 

“Cafeteria would involve getting dressed right?”

“Yep.”

“Dry cornflakes it is.”

Eretria laughed and grabbed the packet. She walked over to her bed and sat down next to Amberle who had pushed herself up, now leaning against the wall.

 

The two girl spent the day studying sitting on the floor across from each other. And the sun was already coloring the sky in a deep red as a knock on the dormroom startled both girls as they were lost in their books.

Eretria stood up, stretching her legs which had gotten stiff from sitting on the floor too long and walked towards the door.

Catania was standing in the hallway, her hands folded neatly in front of her body.

“Hey. I thought I might find you here.”

“Yes, because you and Bendon were doing it in our room like freaking bunnies.” Amberle yelled from the back of the room and Eretria stepped back allowing the blonde girl to enter.

“I'm sorry for making you kinda homeless again.”

“Well, prove that to me by allowing me in our room once in a while.” Amberle huffed. “Not that I mind staying with you Eretria, of course. No offense”

“No harm done, princess.”

She saw out of the corner of her eye that at the mentioning of her nickname for Amberle Catania started to grin like an idiot.

“Like I said, we are both really sorry. Won't happen again. We promise to behave.”

“Don't make promises you can't keep.”

“Anyway.” Catania stretched the word. “We wanted to ask you two if you might want to join us tonight. We are planning to go ice-skating. Kinda as a reward from all the studying.”

“Oh please, all you did was study Bendon's body.”

“Maybe. But doesn't that still deserve a reward?”

“From what we could hear through the walls you had a lot of rewards.”

Catania nodded slowly and her lips twisted into a knowing smirk. “Plenty. But now, do you want to join us? Yes or No?”

“Well it does sound like fun. Eretria, what do you think? Should we leave your comfortable floor and go ice-skating?”

“If never been ice-skating before, so I'm not sure if that's a good idea.”

“You've never been? Oh hell, then we have to go. I can totally show you.” Amberle jumped up from the floor and ran towards her.

With the brunette standing in front of her, looking at her eagerly with big eyes Eretria quickly considered her options. She could either go and make a fool out of herself in front of a cute girl or she could stay in her room and disappoint said cute girl.

“Alright. Why not. Let's give it a try. But...” She pointed to herself and Amberle. “Seeing as we both are still wearing our PJ's we might have to shower and change first.”

“Awesome. Of course, we aren't in a hurry.” Catania smiled and left the room.

“I should probably go to my room and find something appropriate to wear. I will get our clothes back to you as soon as possible.” Amberle picked up her things from the floor and as she was almost out the door she turned around again. “Just come to our room once you're done.”

“Alright.”

“Thanks again for letting me stay here over night. And for not getting bored of studying with me for the entire day.”

“Are you kidding me? Having you around somehow makes everything more fun.” A deep red crawled on Amberle's cheeks as a response to her words. “ And stop thanking me for that. We are friends now. And friends help friends out right?”

“Friends, yes.” The expression that appeared on Amberle's face disappeared too quick for Eretria to place it. She wasn't sure if it had been confusion, hurt or something else entire. But the girl had put on her usual bright smile again and waved at her as she stepped out into the corridor. “See you in a bit.”

“Later, princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings might change later.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	6. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. I will try and publish more often during the next few weeks. 
> 
> How often depends on how nice Joana is towards me...

Eretria shoved all her books and papers into a big pile next to her bed. She would go and sort through it later. A few pieces of clothing for later were pulled out of her closet and thrown onto her bed.

Quickly she stripped out of her clothes, wrapped her towel around her body, grabbed her bag with shampoo and headed out of her room towards the showers.

As she entered the room she could hear one other shower running and the soft voice of someone humming was carried to her ears over the rushing of the water. She immediately knew that this voice belonged to Amberle by the way she was humming Out of the woods again. And then suddenly Eretria realized that Amberle was naked. In the shower. About three meters away from her. Water was probably running down her skin and her hands were wandering over her body. And Eretria quickly jumped into a shower stall the curtain pulled shut behind her. 

She turned on the water, hung her towel onto a hook and stepped underneath the running water. Only to realize that it was freezing cold. Before she could stop herself she let out a loud squeak while cringing together.

“Eretria?” Amberle's voice sounded from the other side of the room.

“Yeah?” Eretria jumped back, out of reach of the cold water and quickly turned the tab onto warm water .

“Everything okay?” Her voice carried worry. 

“Yeah, everything's fine. Didn't expect the water to be that cold.”

Only the sound of the rushing water was echoing through the room, until the noise got quieter and Eretria figured that Amberle had turned off her shower.

The rustling of the curtain and the sound of shower shoes being dragged over the floor, followed by a quiet “See you in a bit” and the closing of the door, told Eretria that Amberle had left the room and that she was alone.

 

When the water had finally reached a temperature that didn't cause her toes to fall off Eretria stepped underneath the stream of water and allowed the water to run down her body.

While shampooing she let her fingers run over her skin absentmindedly, as she felt the scars on her back and her thoughts were pulled back to the memories of her childhood.  
Most of the scars covering the skin of her back she had gotten when Cephalo had tried to hit her after she had gotten home late one afternoon from school. In order to avoid his beating she had tried climbing the fence in the back of their yard, but as she had heard Cephalo yell somewhere near her she had lost her balance and had fallen onto a few sharp rocks on the ground.   
He had brought her to an ER that day, but her wounds hadn't healed properly for a long time, because he had not stopped hitting her after and her stitches had opened up again and again.   
No one had ever found out about his abuse towards her, had Cephalo taken her to a different doctor or ER every time it got too bad. And Cephalo had made sure that even if someone had asked too many questions in his eyes, she looked like she was a terrible kid, out of control, who hurt herself and other kids.

Eretria could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she hurried to shake off the memories. Cephalo was her past. By moving to the other side of the country she had escaped him and broke his power over her. She had never been this happy in her life and for the first time ever she could picture a future for herself. A future that she controlled and no one else. She had found a study course that she liked and friends. Well Wil and the other guys from the pizzeria. And now Amberle. 

Thinking about the brunette and the past few days she could feel a smile creep on her face, which she couldn't stop.

It was just dawning on her in that moment that ice skating could be seen as something really romantic. She had never gone ice skating herself, but according to Wil, it was a good first-date idea, because it offered the opportunity to talk and often involved hand-holding.

Just the thought alone made her heartbeat speed up and she cursed herself for being so nervous when ever she just thought about Amberle. No one should behave like this after knowing someone for only a short amount of time. Even if that someone was a pretty brunette with eyes to get lost in and a smile that made her demons disappear.

 

A short time later when she had gotten dressed and removed the small braids from her hair in order to just pull her hair back in a ponytail, she stood in front of Amberle's and Catania's door and knocked. As Bendon opened the door, allowing her to look into the room, she realized that she had never been there before. Their room had the same furniture arranged in a similar way like Zora's and her's, but somehow it still looked very different from theirs. Because Zora was barely around and Eretria didn't own a lot of things when she moved here, their room was still looking really bare in comparison to Amberle's and Catania's room. The shelves were stuffed with all kinds of things and the girls had hung a few chains of lights around the entire room, making it look very warm and welcoming.

Catania and Amberle were standing in front of the only mirror in the room and were knocking into each other in order to be able to look at themselves better.

“You guys done now?” Bendon laughed and started to put on his shoes which were standing next to the door.

“Sure.” Catania took a step back and allowed Eretria's and Amberle's glance to meet in the mirror and shy smiles started to creep on both of their faces

“Let's go then.” Bendon picked up a jacket laying over the back of one the desk-chairs and pulled Eretria with him onto the hallway. “We need to go, otherwise these two will never leave the place in front of the mirror.” 

 

When they arrived at the ice-skating ring in the park which was lit by strings of lights there weren't many people around. Just around 20 people were skating around on the ice.

They all had lent out shoes their size quickly and Bendon and Catania were already flying over the ice while Amberle stood next to the entrance waiting for Eretria to get more than one foot on the ice.

The brunette was clinging to the railing like her life depended on it. The surface underneath the foot that was already on the ice felt incredibly slippy and gave her little to no grip, making it almost impossible to lift her other foot enough for her to place it on the ice as well.

The grin on Amberle's face wasn't helping her confidence much either, but it motivated her enough to push herself of of the safe ground and place both feet on the frozen surface.

Her look of triumph only lasted a second, as she slipped and fell butt first back on the ice.

“Well this is going great.” Eretria huffed while turning herself so that she was on all fours and tried to get back up. 

A pair of skates stopped next to her and a pair of strong arms grabbed her upper arm to help her get up. 

When she finally stood on her two very wobbly feet again, she looked up to see who's arms she was still clinging to, only to look into Amberle's big eyes. As she noticed how close they were she felt a blush creep on her face and she could have sworn that Amberle's eyes flicked down to her lips as she swallowed audibly. 

“Let's... Let's get you to the railing again.” Amberle seemed to press out her words between her teeth as she carefully guided both of them back towards the edge of the ice-skating ring. “Remember to always keep you hands as a fist when you fall. Loosing a finger is no fun.”

Eretria expected her to let go of her once she had one hand on the rail again, but instead Amberle only allowed her hand to wander down her arm and interlace their fingers.

Her first few steps very unsteady and she couldn't quite figure out how to place her feet in order for them not to slip away underneath her.

Amberle seemed to watch her struggle for only a few meters until she grinned. “Wait let me show you.” As the girl let go of her hand, the spaces where her fingers had fit perfectly felt empty and cold.

She skated in front of her and motioned for her to watch her feet. “Look at what I am doing.” 

As much as Eretria tried to pay attention to Amberle's feet her eyes were drawn to a different area of Amberle's back and she came to the conclusion that Amberle from behind was not a bad view at all.

The next thing she knew was Amberle standing next to her again. “Do you see what I did?”

“Ye.. Yeah. I think so.” Shaking of the images from a moment ago, Eretria brought her attention back to her feet.

She must have had paid a least a bit of attention to what the girl had done, because now her feet somehow found a better angle and she felt immediately more steady on the slippy surface.

Amberle had watched her and as she caught up to her again, she took Eretria's hand in hers again.

 

The two of them managed about half of a round before Amberle insisted that Eretria should try to let go of the railing and try it only holding onto Amberle.

As soon as her hand left the steadying rail she started to loose her balance and threatened to fall back onto the ground. 

By gripping Amberle's hand tighter she managed to keep herself standing and after a few stumbling steps forward together they were actually skating over the ice. Eventhough they were very slow and were passed by seven-year-olds Eretria felt a bit proud of herself for not falling again.

“See.. This is fun.” Amberle offered her her biggest grin.

“If I get the hang of it soon, maybe..”

Before Amberle could answer she suddenly jerked together, her free hand snapped up to her neck, trying to wipe away the pieces of ice that Catania had just thrown into her collar.

“Eretria. Sorry. I gotta go kill her really quick. Will you be okay if I leave you here for just a moment?” Still cringing when she felt the ice she didn't get fast enough drip down her back Amberle smirked at Eretria.

“Yeah. Sure. As long as I don't move I should be fine.” Eretria let go of Amberle's hand and motioned for her to go after Catania.

“Thanks. I'll be back as soon as possible.” She flashed her once last grin before speeding away. Eretria couldn't help but think who graceful the girl looked, like she was floating over the ground, the fact that she was yelling at Catania at the top of her lungs didn't look bad on her as well. Said girl had an expression somewhere between grinning and terrified on her face as she tried to get away as soon as possible from the girl who was coming towards her at high speed. 

Soon Amberle had caught up to Catania and stuffed the ice that she had somehow picked up from the ground while chasing her into the back of her jacket.

Hearing the shrill cries from the blonde girl and the triumphant giggles from Amberle echo over the ice-skating ring Eretria felt herself starting to laugh. This caused her to stop paying attention to what her feet were doing she started to loose her balance again, only to be caught by Bendon, who had suddenly appeared next to her and she let the boy lead her to the railing. 

 

After a few more rounds hand in hand with Amberle, Eretria started to feel that she was slowly getting the hang of this ice-skating thing. She even managed to make a few very unsteady steps all of her own. But she gladly accepted Amberle's hand again, because even if skating all on her own gave her a sense of accomplishment, feeling Amberle's hand in her's was much better.

 

They had found a steady rhythm as some kid cut in front of them and Amberle's attempt to avoid them and Eretria's failed try in slowing down caused the two of them to crash into each other. While Amberle managed to keep herself standing, Eretria fell to the ground, pulling the brunette because of their linked hands down with her.

Eretria landed on her back with a groan while Amberle fell on top of her.

Laying on the cold ice surface Eretria looked up directly in Amberle's face. “Great. There I go again, making a fool out of myself in front of a pretty girl.”

The blush that reddened Amberle's cheeks was reward enough for making the fall absolutely worth it.

Neither of the girls made any attempt to move and untangle themselves from the other, eventhough Eretria could already feel pain in her butt from where she had landed on the ice and the cold of the wet spots where the melting ice was sipping through her clothes. Both were too caught up in the other and the closeness between them.

As if time had slowed down, Eretria could see Amberle's eyes flicker between her eyes and her lips and she felt herself do the same. Amberle was slowly leaning down, her glance now fixated on her lips as Eretria pushed herself on her elbows.

She could feel Amberle's hot breath on her cold skin, as someone stopped next to them and cleared their throat. “You two okay down there?”

A wave of anger and disappointment washed over Eretria as the two of them looked up and saw that the smug faces of Bendon and Catania were smirking down on them.

Like a few times before Amberle managed to answer something before Eretria could start to yell at someone. “Yes. Better than okay actually.” The shy smile that played on her lips together with her flushed face seemed to calm Eretria down immediately. 

Carefully trying not to squish her Amberle crawled off of her and got back up on her skates pulling Eretria with her.

 

As the four of them got back to their dorms later that night they could all feel the exhaustion crawl through their bones.

Bendon and Catania were already walking towards the blonde girl's room, leaving Amberle to say goodnight to Eretria.

Just before Bendon stepped into the room he turned around with a huge grin. “Cute double date, we should do that again sometime.” His head disappeared in the door frame before one of them could answer.

“How come everyone thinks that we are dating?” Eretria shook her head in disbelieve.

“Probably because we look so damn good together.” Amberle laughed. “No, I don't know. Maybe because we have spend a lot of time together lately.”

“Well there is nothing wrong in having a good time with a cute girl.” Eretria could slap herself as she felt herself wink at the girl in front of her.

A deep blush appeared on Amberle's cheeks. “I... I should probably go to my room before they start anything.”

“Yeah.” Eretria's fingers played with the keys in her hand. 

Without a warning Amberle wrapped her arms around Eretria's neck and pulled her into a hug. Startled at first Eretria remembered how she had never been a big fan of hugs, but as the warmth of the other girl's body crept through her clothes, she couldn't help but wrap her arms around her waist and pull her close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr.  
> http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	7. Not her lucky day

_Warm fingers were slowly stroking across her arm, drawing circles on her skin._

_Eretria opened her eyes only to find herself lying on her bed. Amberle was lying next to her, her head rested on her chest as the girl gently touched her skin on the arm that she had wrapped around her to hold her close. The soft tunes of Amberle humming again reached her ears. Out of the woods again._

_She closed her eyes for a moment to make sure she would never forget how it felt lying next to Amberle, being so close to her, just the two of them._

_But as she opened her eyes again, she wasn't laying in her bed anymore. She was standing in the middle of a snow-covered forest. Dried up, gray plants poked through the snow blanket in between the bare, crooked trees._

_The cold cut through her clothes and pierced her skin. Amberle's warmth was gone, replaced by the cold wind stroking over her skin._

_She turned her head fast in every direction until her eyes made out a dark shadow standing underneath a huge tree just a few feet in front of her. The tree seemed to have silver bark and whenever the wind got caught between its branches the jolt ripped orange-glowing leaves of the tree. Once loose the leaves seemed to just fall to the ground without being effected by the wind anymore and as soon as the hit the ground they started to turn into ash._

_Her feet were heavy as she tried to hurry over to the shape that started to squirm with every step she took towards it._

_Pieces of snow and ice were sticking to her clothes pulling her down and the wind had started to blow faster and harder. The gusts of wind now carrying shards of snow and ice which cut open her skin when they came in contact with it. She had to shield her face by lifting one arm in front of it as she stomped over to the tall tree._

_As she got closer to the dark shadow standing in the middle of the snowstorm she could start to make out that the shape were in fact two people. One person standing with the back to the other, who had their arm wrapped around the person in front._

_With terror she realized that the two people were Amberle and Cephalo. Her father was holding a knife to Amberle's throat, his thin lips twisted in a sick grin as he watched the panic play over Amberle's face._

_Cephalo grinned flashing his yellow teeth as she was just standing a few feet away from her and his voice cut through her, making her ache in her chest. “Nice to see you again, Eretria.”_

_The sound of someone calling her name echoed through the woods seemingly coming from a place far away, but at the same time sounding like someone was standing directly next to her._

_“Let go of her.” Eretria hissed in Cephalo's direction, but her voice seemed to drown in the howling of the wind._

_As a reaction Cephalo only seemed to tighten his grip around Amberle and the knife cut into her skin causing a drop of blood to form and run across her skin._

_“Amberle!” Eretria cried out in shock, her voice louder and shaking with panic. She tried to step closer, with a determined yet fearful look on her face, but that only caused Cephalo to start to laugh._

_Through his maniac laughter, the voice calling out for her was carried to her ears again and this time Cephalo seemed to notice it too._

_“This isn't over, Eretria. I will find you.” With his threat he stepped back and ripped Amberle with him. A deep growl echoed through the trees surrounding her and as she turned her head to check what it was she could see that the darkness in between the trees seemed to come closer with every second that passed._

_She hurried to look back to Amberle only to see that she and Cephalo had disappeared. Only the huge tree in front of her was still hovering over her. The last of the orange leaves were ripped from the branches as the wave of darkness reached her and started to surround her._

_She managed to take one last breath before everything faded to black._

 

Eretria bolted up in her bed, drenched in sweat, her heart beating out of her chest. She was confused for a few moments because everything surrounding her seemed unfamiliar and foreign. The darkness was still pulling on her, clouding her mind.

Her heart stopped for a second when she felt a hand being dropped on her shoulder.

“Eretria.” The voice from the forest again. This time it managed to get through to her and pulled her back into reality.

She finally realized that the hand on her shoulder belong to Zora, who was next to her on the bed looking at her with worry.

As she slowly blinked at Zora, the taller girl slowly stroked across her hair. “Hey, hey Eretria. You had a nightmare. Look at me. Everything is okay. It was just a dream.” Her voice sounded smoothing but it didn't manage to take any of the fear that was still clinging to Eretria.

But with every breath she took, more and more of the panic still pressing on her chest seemed to shrink.

Eretria ran her hands over her face and through her hair and checked her alarm clock for the time. Even with the panic still crawling through her bones she remembered that it seemed like an unusual time for Zora to be home. “What.. What are you doing here?”  
“Just came to grab some stuff.” Zora seemed a bit surprised by the question and she got up from Eretria's bed, her eyes never leaving the shorter girl. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.” Eretria forced a smile on her face, trying to play her nightmare down.

Zora didn't look convinced but living with Eretria for a while now, the girl had learned when to keep asking questions and when it was best to leave Eretria alone.

She kept watching Eretria as she roamed through her half of the room, collecting a few things and stuffing them in a bag.

“Call me if you need anything.” With that Zora left the room and closed the door behind her.

As soon as she was alone, Eretria let herself fall back down onto her pillow with a groan. The images of her dream were still burned in her mind, instead of disappearing like most dreams do after one wakes up.

 

It seemed as if only minutes had passed the next time she looked at her clock after she had stared at the ceiling thinking about her dream. Instead her phone told her that is was already late in the afternoon.

Her stomach growled as if to remind her that she had spent the entire day in bed and hadn't eaten all day.

Roaming through her snack drawer and other spots where she usually kept something to eat trying to find something eatable was unsuccessful.

As she remember that it was Sunday and she couldn't just go buy new groceries she figured that she could just as well check if Wil was working.

After having changed into clothes that would keep her more warm outside than her pyjamas she left her room, hoping she would leave the images from her dream there and hurried to Antonio's pizzeria.

 

 

Eretria had let her head fall on her favourite table at Antonio's pizzeria as someone placed something in front of her.

Lifting her forehead of the cold table surface she could see that Wil had put the pizza she had ordered on the table and was now taking the seat across from her.

“So where have you been these past days?” The blonde boy arched one eyebrow as she took the first bite of the slice of pizza she picked up. “Spending too much time with your girlfriend?”

“What do you mean?” Eretria hoped by playing dumb he would drop the topic. But her hope died as soon as he opened his mouth again.

“You know exactly who I mean. Amberle. Ever since you two started to hang out I barely see you anymore.” Wil's hand was slowly crawling towards her pizza, probably hoping to steal a slice but she pushed his hand away and flashed her eyes at him angrily, the cheese strings from the bite she just took still connected with the slice in her hand.

 

“Amberle is not my girlfriend.” She answered after having swallowed. “I was just busy with exams, like you should have been too.”

Wil's eyes narrowed as he crooked his head and looked at her with a grin. “Did you two study together?”

“Yes, maybe.” Eretria's answer was quiet and she looked everywhere but at the boy sitting across from her.

“You two don't even study something remotely alike.”

“So what? Studying alone is boring and having someone next to you just.. I don't know... makes it less boring, I guess.”

“If by less boring mean, that you have at least someone interesting and hot to look at, then sure let's call it less boring.“ Without looking at her Wil, Eretria knew that he had a smug grin spread across his face.

 

Their conversation drifted into a different direction after that, Eretria making sure that nothing she said could bring the topic back to Amberle as a shadow fell on her half eaten pizza as someone stopped next to their table.

A wave of curse words ran through her mind as she looked up and saw that the person who had stopped next to them was none other than Bendon.

“Hey Eretria.”

Her only wish in that moment was for a huge hole to open up next to her and swallow her whole. But luck wasn't on her side today, so instead to keep wishing for herself to disappear she answered him hesitantly. “Hi Bendon.”

“I don't want to interrupt for long, I just saw you sitting here and thought I would drop by and tell you that we all had a lot of fun yesterday. Catania and I agree that we should totally do something like that again. After semester break I will probably be here for a few more days. So if you are interested then I am sure we will find a day.” The smile that was playing across the face of the boy was so honest and friendly that Eretria couldn't stop the smile that was creeping on her face.

She couldn't deny that the ice skating hadn't been fun and to her surprise she had started to like the blonde roommate and her boyfriend. Even if she had tried to find a reason for saying no to them hanging out again, she couldn't think of a single one. Instead she found herself nodding in agreement. “Sure. I would like that. I guess we could talk about it when we are all here again after break.”

“Yes. I'd like that.” Someone behind the counter of the pizza place called from Bendon and that his order was ready. “I gotta go. I have two hungry mouths to feed back at the dorm.”

Eretria only nodded as response as the boy picked up the three pizza boxes from the counter and handed the man some money.

Bendon was already half out of the door when he turned back to her and Wil. “See you around, Eretria.”

“Yeah, bye.” She gave him a small wave and turned her attention back to her pizza.

“Who was that? And why were you nice to him? Who are you and what have you done to Eretria?” Wil's voice reminded her that her friend hadn't just disappeared into thin air as soon as the encounter with Bendon started and she knew that she was screwed because of all the burning questions that were probably running wild in his mind. The boy wouldn't stop bugging her before he got enough answers to satisfy his curiosity.

“That was Bendon, Catania's boyfriend.” She hoped by answering in short sentences that Wil would understand that she would rather talk about something else.

“Catania.. as in Catania, roommate of a certain brunette.”

“Yeah.. that Catania.” Her hope shrunk with the nosiness that was still audible in his voice.

“And what did he mean by 'had a lot of fun yesterday'. What did you do yesterday?”

Eretria had hoped that at least that part had gone unheard by the boy, but seeing as today wasn't her lucky day of course Wil had heard it and was now very keen on finding out everything he could.

“We went ice skating yesterday.”

“We? As in.. who?” When Eretria didn't answer straight away he added, “God, why do I have to worm every answer out of you.”

Knowing that the boy wouldn't stop she let out a breath of surrender. “Catania, Bendon, Amberle and I.”

“So you went on a freaking double date and didn't tell me?” It was clearly noticeable that he was playing to be offended by the way his voice was full of sarcasm.

“It was not.. It wasn't a double date. God, why does everyone think that we are dating?”

“Probably because you've spent as much time with Amberle in the last few days than you have with me in last year.” Eretria threw him an evil look, hoping that would stop him from talking for at least a moment. But instead of stopping him it apparently only made him talk more. “And you’ve got it so bad for her. Like that sparkle in your eye when you talk about her and you get all smiley.”

She had finished with her pizza in the meantime and shoved the empty plate to the side and let her head fall in her hands as her phone which she had placed next to her on the table buzzed.

Wil grabbed it before she could and as she saw the grin growing on his face, she knew that she should have just stayed in bed. The day had started horribly and it wasn't getting any better. She dreaded talking about Amberle, meant it only that she had to think more about the brunette than she already did. Even though she tried so hard to tell herself that she didn't feel anything for her, it was getting harder and harder to deny it.

As she reached over the table to get her phone back, Wil held it out of reach while studying the screen.

Eretria didn't like the mischievous grin that was growing on his face at all.

“And you call her princess.”

He turned the screen just enough so that she could read the message that had popped up.

Amberle had decided to send her a message telling her that she would like to come over later. Eretria seriously had to turn off the function that messages could be read even when the phone was still locked.

“She saved her number under that name all by herself.”

Wil's expression on his face told her that he didn't believe a word she was saying.

“She did, I swear. I think she did that because I said that she looked like a princess when I told her about you having a crush on her last Halloween.”

“Why would you tell her that?” The blonde boys eyes widened in surprise.

“Because of the message you left in her pizza box.” She was still holding her hand out to get her phone back, but Wil seemed to ignore it.

“Oh well... I guess then it's only fair.” He laughed as he remembered what he wrote in the box when Amberle had first stayed with Eretria. „Was she mad when she read that?”

“No, she thought it was cute and that you were trying to get me some.”

“Well that was the case and apparently it worked.”

“Shut up. I don't even know if she likes girls. And even if she does, she won't like someone like me... this.. this messed up.”

“No you shut up, Eretria. You are not messed up.” Wil placed her phone back on the table and took both of her hands in his. Reassuringly he looked her and never broke eye contact as he continued. “You had a hard childhood, but you need to realize that you are not your past. You got out of that house and you will never have to go back there again. Ever. You are free from your father and you deserve someone good. Who treats you right.”

She didn't manage to speak up. Too big the lump in her throat.

Wil's voice was soft and quiet. “Has she seen your scars?”

Her mind immediately focused on the scars on her back, which she had gotten from the accident with the fence and which had only gotten worse with the years during which her adoptive father had abused her.

“No.” Her answer was hesitant. “I only met her like two weeks ago, why would I show her them?”

“Didn't she stay over like twice already?” She could hear that everything he said was said with caution, because he knew how much she dreaded taking about her scars.

“Yes she did, but no.. I haven’t showed them to her. It took me months to tell you about them and even longer to show you them. And I am not even sure that Amberle and I are friends.”

“God damnit, stop thinking like that.” Wil was slowly getting frustrated. “Tell your anxiety to shut up. If she didn't like you she wouldn't have stayed over.”

“But she didn't have anywhere to go. She couldn't go back to her room and outside was a snowstorm.”

“Fine, even if she didn't stay over completely voluntary... You two hung out after that. And in the text she just sent she asked you if she could come over, right?”

“Right.” Eretria was kneading her one hand with the fingers of her other.

“See. And you are even doing things together with her roommate and her boyfriend.” Wil pointed absentmindedly towards the door through which Bendon had left a while ago.

“Yeah. They asked us to go ice-skating with them.” Eretria couldn't stop the small giggle that bubbled out of her as she remembered what Bendon had said about them going on a double-date. „And now even they are saying that we are dating.”

“Really?” Eretria missed the cheeky grin that flashed over Wil's face. “And what does Amberle say about everyone thinking you are dating?”

“Nothing. She just laughs.” Eretria started to spin her phone underneath one finger.

“So she doesn’t correct them?”

“No.”

“Interesting.” This time the sound of Wil's voice didn't go unnoticed and as Eretria looked up her friend was smirking at her as if he knew something she didn't.

Before she could ask him what he was talking about the phone in the back of the store rung and Wil got up to answer it.

Instead she yelled after him, asking him what he meant by saying interesting, but her question was left unanswered.

As his voice echoed from the back with the familiar: „Antonio’s pizza. What can I do for you?” she picked up her phone from the table surface and unlocked it.

She had to think for a moment before she answered Amberle. Even though she couldn't think of anything better than to see the brunette later, she decided against it. She had an exam the next day and her brain was still too messed up from the nightmare she had had during the night. Seeing Amberle would probably safe the mess of a day she had, but it would surely not help for her to focus on the last bit of studying she wanted to do.

She replied to her text with a short: _Sorry, gotta study. Maybe tomorrow?_ as Wil yelled from the back that they had gotten in a big order and he needed to work now.

Eretria grabbed her things, threw a few bucks on the table and headed for the door.

Just as she was about to walk out Allanon seemingly back from a delivery run walked in, holding the door open for her.

“Hey Eretria.” The grin on the man’s face was huge as he recognized who he was standing in front of.

“Hey Allanon.” She couldn't help but to return a smile just as big.

“Already leaving us again?”

“I have been here quite a while.” She walked past him and turned around again.  
“Alright.” He laughed and flashed her his teeth. “Tell your girlfriend 'Hi' from me.”

Eretria could have face-palmed herself. “What did Wil tell you?” She couldn't hide the annoyance in her voice. “She is not my girlfriend.”

“He said that you would say that.” With that the door between them fell shut, leaving a dumbstruck Eretria standing in the snow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	8. Movie night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy reading the new long-awaited next chapter. 
> 
> It was inspired by a situation that happened to me a few weeks ago..
> 
> If you want to leave a comment after reading it you are very welcome to.

The next morning Eretria was sitting in the lecture hall, her finished exam in front of her. She was spinning her pencil between two fingers as she watched the other people sitting all around her who were trying to concentrate on their tests.

She had been able to finish the exam very fast and she had to thank all the study sessions she and Amberle had spent together during the past few days. Even though she hadn't managed to concentrate on anything yesterday once she had gotten home after her visit to Wil's workplace. Her dream had crawled back into her bones as soon as she was alone again, but she was still confident in most of her answers. Somehow she had always been good at repressing, at least for short amounts of time.

Now she was listening to the scribbling sound of pencils on paper as she let her eyes wander around the room.

Her glance was caught by the tousled brown hair of a boy sitting to her right a few rows down. Lorin was still staring at the papers on the table in front of him, while he ran his hand through his hair from time to time looking more desperate by the minute.

Just the fact that her eyes had stopped on the boy was telling Eretria something she was still trying to convince herself otherwise. A few weeks ago, she would have completely ignored him, not bothering to even look in his direction. But the longer she looked at him, she noticed that her feelings towards him, which were non-existed by last month, had changed. She was no longer not caring. On the contrary, her stomach started to feel weird as the memory of Amberle and Lorin kissing at the Halloween party flashed through her mind.  
Eretria remembered clearly that she hadn't cared about it back then. Her only thought had been that Wil was probably hurting from that sight. But now she felt how her grip around her pen tightened and she knew that denying her feelings for Amberle any longer wouldn't work.

Frustrated she gathered her things, threw her pencil in her bag and walked to the front of the class-room to hand in her exam. 

 

The knock on the door just a minute after Amberle had send her a text asking if she could come over and Eretria answering her with a yes, made Eretria's heart start to beat faster.  
And the sight of the brunette girl standing in front of her door as she opened made it stop completely. 

Amberle entered her room with swinging steps handed Eretria a few DVD's and let herself fall on her bed.

“Hey...?” Eretria's greeting was hesitant as she closed the door behind Amberle and walked over to her bed to sit down next to her.

“Hey.” Amberle who had been staring at her ceiling turned her head and grinned at her. “Originally I was coming over to ask you how your exam went and then go back to studying. But then I got like the tenth papercut from my law book today and my mood for studying has dropped to the lowest it has ever been.. So I changed my plan to asking you about your exam and then maybe talk you into watching a movie with me.”

“Talk me into watching a movie, huh?” Eretria lifted one eyebrow as she studied the face of the girl lying next to her.

With a smug grin on her lips Amberle sat up and took the DVD's that Eretria was still holding in her hands. “So.. how was your exam?”

“Fine, I guess. I was done really fast though. Don't know if that's a good sign or not.”

“I'm sure it's gonna be fine. You studied so much.”

“Yes. Thanks to you. If you hadn't stayed over on Saturday I probably wouldn't have looked at the material at all. So thank you for making me study so much.” Without noticing Eretria had placed one hand on Amberle's knee to reassure her words. As she realized what she had done though, she felt herself blush and cleared her throat. Quickly she tried to find another topic to talk about. „So the DVD's... what did you bring?”

Amberle looked stunned for a moment as if she had just woken up from a trance, but then her hands found the movies which she had placed on her lap a few seconds ago and picked the first of the pile and turned the front towards Eretria. 

“Well. First we have 'Friend Request'. It's a horror movie about a girl who receives a friend request from a weird girl and weird shit starts happening. I brought that movie mainly because Alycia Debnam-Carey plays the lead and she is so beautiful to look at and awesome and.. Anyway..” Amberle placed the film to her side and picked up the next DVD. “Next we have 'All cheerleaders die'. Another horror movie about a few cheerleaders who die.. But they come back as Zombies, kind of and start to get revenge on the people that have done them wrong in the past. I don't know how to describe it really, but it's really good.” She held up the third movie. “Then we have Pan's labyrinth, one of my favorite movies. It's also not a very happy movie.. Why did I pick so many horror movies?”

“Maybe studying for too long makes your mind go to dark places?” Eretria jokingly suggested.

“Maybe.. Well, it's fantasy movie about a lonely girl during a war who meets a few fairies and she gets told that she is the long lost princess of a kingdom and she needs to finish some tasks to get back to the kingdom.” She waved the fourth DVD in front of her. “And lastly I brought Dead Or Alive. It's a movie based on a video game.. which sounds weird at first. But it’s a lot happier than my first three suggestions and there are a lot of badass female characters in it. So what do you want to see?”

Stunned from the wave of information Amberle had just given her Eretria needed a few moments to answer. “I have no idea. They all don't sound terrible, but I have already forgotten what the first two are about. So you pick. “

While Amberle sat on Eretria's bed looking at the four movies in front of her kneading her bottom lip, Eretria got up to grab her laptop from her desk.

She placed the laptop at the foot of the bed and plugged in the charging cable.

In the meantime it seemed as if Amberle had decided on a movie as she placed three DVD's on Eretria's nightstand, handed her the fourth one and started to pile up Eretria's pillows so that they could lean against them.

“Alright... Friend Request it is.” Eretria put the DVD in her laptop, pressed play and moved to sit next to Amberle who was already buried underneath her blanket.

As she made herself comfortable next to the brunette Amberle lifted the cover and threw one side over Eretria and nestled herself again her once she sat still.

From that moment Eretria wasn't able to pay any attention towards the movie. If someone had asked her after what the movie had been about she had probably answered something along the lines of: ”Things.. happened, stuff went.. down and people.. talked.. I think.”

Too occupied was her mind by the way Amberle felt pressed against her. The warmth of the girl next to her seemed to crawl in between her bones and light a fire inside her. Eretria could have sworn she had never felt this comfortable and at peace with the world.  
Even her inner voice who was usually screaming at her that Amberle and she were just friends and there was no way that Amberle could like her more than as a friend was silence for once. 

Soon the credits were rolling over the screen and Eretria felt Amberle shift next to her.

When she turned her head to look at her she saw that Amberle was already staring at her.

“So? How did you like the movie?”

Eretria had to clear her throat before she could answer. Staring into Amberle’s eyes with only a few inches between their faces made it impossible for her to form even a simple sentence.

“Yeah.. I.. I liked it. The.. lead was really good, I think.”

“Oh yes, Alycia is a goddess.” Amberle had sat up straight now and Eretria was immediately missing the warmth of her body. 

She figured now that the movie was over Amberle would go back to her room, but the brunette didn't make any movements that suggested that she was preparing to leave her bed.

Eretria made a decision to be brave for a moment. “So.. do you want to watch another one?” With a quick look at her alarm clock she added: “It's not that late yet.”

“Sure. You pick this one okay?”

Without bothering to look at the title of the movie Eretria just grabbed the film that was laying on top of the pile and switched it with the DVD in her laptop.

When she leaned back again Amberle had changed her position and she took Eretria's arm to wrap it around herself and allowed Eretria to pull her closer. As soon as they had placed the blanket over themselves again Amberle took Eretria's free hand underneath the blanket. 

Even though she was now even closer to the girl in her arm she forced herself to pay attention to the movie. She managed to follow a few scenes to understand that she had chosen the movie 'All cheerleaders die' based on the many cheerleaders flashing over the screen and them dying a few minutes into the movie. But as soon as Amberle moved or made a noise her concentration was thrown off and she could barely get her mind to focus on anything else but the brunette.  
If Eretria was honest they could have stared at a black screen for all she cared.

 

By the time the credits were rolling over the screen Amberle and Eretria were deep into a debate about the movie and Eretria was glad she could follow the things Amberle was pointing out what she liked and disliked about the movie.

Their conversation then drifted over to their favorite movies and shows. Eretria had always been careful around people to admit that she really liked Sci-Fi-shows, because they usually branded her with being weird and nerdy, which wasn't negative in itself, but somehow always managed to say things to her that sounded like they left a bad taste it their mouths.  
But as soon as Amberle heard that she liked shows like Doctor Who and movies like Star Wars, Eretria soon found herself in a debate about who the best Doctor, villain or companion was and which Star Wars characters or episodes were their favorites.  
While Amberle was of the determined opinion that the Tenth Doctor, the Daleks and Rose were her favorite things about the show, Eretria defended her love for the Eleventh Doctor, the Weeping Angels and Clara Oswald.

When it came to Star Wars they decided that both of them were all about girlpower and loved Leia and Rey and even Padme during the time she hadn't spent whining over Anakin.

Meanwhile the menu of the DVD had opened and the background music had been playing for almost two hours, but that hadn't been enough of a reason to get up from their comfortable positions.

Only when suddenly the roomdoor opened and Zora walked into the room they both stirred, startled by the interruption. Eretria immediately felt herself stiffen and cursed herself when Amberle noticed it, the pain in her eyes because of her reaction clearly visible.

“Hey you two.”

Amberle let go of her hand and sat up, now trying to play over Eretria's reaction. Her glance fell on the alarm clock on Eretria's nightstand. “Hey Zora. I should probably go. It's getting late and I have an exam first thing in the morning.”

Eretria, still too startled from Zora walking in and the hurt in Amberle's eyes, didn't manage to open her mouth answer. Instead she just watched Amberle crawling over her legs and off the bed.

As Amberle reached the door, her hand already on the handle, Eretria managed to gather herself enough to call after her. “Princess? See you tomorrow?”

The relief that washed over Amberle's face was followed by a warm smile. “Yes, of course.”

Only as the door fell shut after the brunette Eretria managed to add a quiet: “Bye.”

Zora's voice ripped her thoughts away from Amberle's smile. “You can't tell me that that wasn't more.”

“We are just friends.”: Eretria tried to reassure Zora as much as herself, as she got up from her bed to grab her toilet bag.

The last thing she heard from her roommate before she was able to close the door behind her and flee from the situation was a very sarcastic sounding: “If you say so.”

 

A few moments later she found herself taking the braids out of her hair while humming the music that was playing in the DVD menu and she couldn't stop the dreamy smile that creeped on her face as she remembered how Amberle had felt in her arm.

 

The next day Eretria found herself standing in front of Amberle's dormroom the pile of DVD's in her slightly shaking hands.  
It took her a few seconds before she had gathered the courage to lift her hand and a few seconds more to actually knock on the door.

“Come in. It's open.” The muffled voice that resounded from behind the door was clearly Amberle's and she felt her heart jump from excitement and nervousness in her chest.

Taking one last deep breath Eretria pushed the door open, entered the room and closed the door behind her before turning around to look at Amberle.

“Hey, I just wanted to come over to..” Her voice got stuck in her throat as her eyes fell on Amberle who was standing in front of her closet.

The brunette was dressed just in a pair of jogging pants and a very pink sportsbra and Eretria might have stopped breathing then and there. 

Her eyes immediately flashed down to Amberle's stomach and her heart sped up as she watched her muscles flex as she put on a shirt.

With the view on Amberle's abs blocked she managed to rip her glance away, but she had to swallow before she was able to look at her face again.

The image of Amberle's toned stomach still in front of her eyes, Eretria's voice sounded shaking and insecure. “I.. I just wanted to bring back your DVD's and... and ask you how your exam went.”

“Oh thank you.” Amberle motioned for her to just place the DVD's on her desk as she pulled hair back into a ponytail. “The exam was very easy. My prof just used exercises from her old exams which I had already done. So I think it went pretty well.”

“Good… Good.” 

Silence fell between the two girls as Eretria watched Amberle put on her running shoes and a jacket and she tried to find the right words to continue.

“And.. about yesterday..” She had placed the movies on the desk and was now fumbling at the seam of her shirt.

“What about yesterday?”

“You know what I mean.” Eretria refused to look in Amberle’s direction.

“No honestly, I don't.”

“I mean me being all weird when Zora walked in. I was just startled and I am not used to having people so close.”

“It's okay.”

“I am still sorry. I... my reaction.. I don't know why I got so.. cold, I guess.”

“I appreciate you apologizing. But it's fine really. I was just surprised, but I thought you might wanted to have some space, that's why I left so fast.”

“I didn't need space. I don't know why I freeze up, whenever someone sees us.. this close.. together. My head is just working stranger sometimes and I think I really need my brain to stop making me react like this.”

Amberle seemed lost in thought for a second. “Maybe we need to train your brain?”

“Train my brain?” Confused she scratched her temple.

“Yes, so you can let people get closer.”

“But I don't need other people to get closer. I just want to be able to have you in my arm and not freeze when someone sees us..” Shocked over her heated confession Eretria's breath got caught in her throat. Forcing herself to meet Amberle's eyes she saw with delight that the girl was blushing furiously and she felt her own face heat up as well.

None of them were able to say anything for a few moments, before Eretria decided she needed to change the topic. “So...” She motioned towards Amberle's outfit. “You wanted to go running?”

Amberle cleared her throat before she answered her. “Yes. No snow or ice outside. Gotta use that the ground is free from death traps today. Do you.. Do you want to come with me?”

“Sadly... I have to work.” The grin on Eretria's face made it pretty clear that she wasn't sad at all about not going jogging. Though she had thought about joining, meant it that she would get the opportunity to look at Amberle more in those very tight, very well fitting running pants.

The brunette in front of her let out an amused breath. “Too bad, maybe some other time then?”

“Sure.”

The girls walked out of Amberle's room which the brunette locked behind them.

“Thank you for apologizing again, even though it wasn't really necessary.” Amberle stuffed her keys in the pocket of jacket and pulled up the front zipper. “Do you.. want to start your brain-training?”

“What do you have in mind?” Eretria didn't trust the mischievous smirk on Amberle's lips one bit. 

Too fast for her to react Amberle bent forward and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek before smiling again. “See you around Eretria.”

She then turned around walked further down the hallway, while Eretria absentmindedly let her fingers run the spot on her cheek that Amberle's lips had just touched. 

The “See you.” she called after Amberle was so quiet that she thought Amberle hadn't heard her, but then the girl turned around again, a smirk playing over her face while she gave her a little wave.

Eretria then realized that she was still touching her cheek and she quickly let her hand fall down back to her side.

As soon as Amberle disappeared behind the corner of the hallway, Eretria allowed the sheepish grin that was trying to creep on her face to form and stepped into her own room to change into her work clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	9. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to cut this chapter in half, because it just got too long. I will post the next chapter next week if I find the time.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading this.

Eretria didn't see Amberle much for the rest of the week. Both girls were really busy with exams, but they managed to spend the weekend studying together for the second week of their exams. Saturday and Sunday they spend huddled next to each other on either Eretria's or Amberle's bed. Each had enough papers and books to cover an entire bed alone, but somehow both refused to leave the side of the other, so they had to get used to the chaos and mix up of their materials.  
They even accompanied each other when one had to make the long, cold walk to the library for something they probably should have borrowed weeks ago. 

Eretria was reminded again how much she enjoyed just sitting in silence with Amberle. It was calming to know that the warmth on the side of her leg was coming from her and from time to time she found herself glancing towards Amberle. To her own surprise she caught Amberle looking back quite often, which usually resulted in a deep blush on both of their faces, some coughing and loud rustling of papers being looked through for something to distract from the embarrassment.

 

During the second week of the exams their tests fell on the same days, which caused them into a rhythm of studying together the day before their exams and spending the rest of the exam day cuddled together watching more movies from Amberle's film collection. Eretria was still not sure how she had managed to be unable to name a single title of the movies. Her brain-training, how Amberle had called it, now consisted of her being as close to Eretria at all times. The girl didn't seem to care if only one would look at them funny, when she practically sat in Eretria's lap in the middle of the library. 

At one point she even talked Eretria into allowing her to play with her hair, because she wanted to try to braid her hair the way Eretria often wore it. That was how Eretria found herself settled in between Amberle’s legs, so the brunette could reach her hair. Slowly Amberle moved the brush through Eretria's hair, combing out the few knots. Amberle's braids ended up being too loose, causing them not to run along Eretria's head but just to fall down in a messy braid after a few centimetres.

After her explanation that she had a few more years of practice to perfect her braiding technique, Amberle then asked Eretria if she could at least show her how she did it.  
Quickly Eretria managed to braid one strand of hair tight to her skull running from her temple following the shape of her ear down to her neck where she allowed the braid to fall freely and secured it with a small hair tie.

Amberle still looked quite confused, so Eretria suggested they moved in front of a mirror so Amberle could follow Eretria's instructions better.

After looking at the girl struggle to mirror her motions Eretria found herself standing behind of Amberle, carefully taking strands of her hair in between her fingers. The proximity to the girl made it hard for Eretria to concentrate and with shaking hands she tried to tighten the braids without hurting Amberle.

She had only managed a few centimetres before Amberle placed one hand over the spot where she was currently holding the three strands to stop her.

“You know I don't think this type of braiding suits me well.” 

Eretria pulled both of her hands back and smirked. “Maybe you don't have the right face to pull my look off.”  
“What is that supposed to mean?” Amberle turned around, fake shock playing in her face. 

“Oh, nothing.” 

Then she realized how close she was standing to the other girl and suddenly the air in the room felt thicker, making it hard for Eretria to breathe properly.

She could have sworn that she saw Amberle's eye flicker down to her lips when she felt Amberle's free hand, the one she was currently not still pressing against the side of her head to keep the half-finished braid in place, on her arm. She let her fingers wander down Eretria's arm, causing her skin to tingle and goosebumps to form, until she interlaced hers with Eretria's fingers.

Her heart was now beating out of her chest and she tighten her grip around Amberle's hand when suddenly the door was pushed open with a loud bang and Catania scuffed into the room.

This caused three different reactions. Amberle jumped back and collided with the mirror, while Eretria stood frozen in place, trying to remember how to breathe and Catania who had a surprised, but amused expression on her face and couldn't help but to looking at Amberle, then at Eretria and back.

The blonde girl was the first to speak. “Oh, this is how Zora must feel everytime she catches you two making out.” 

“We were not.. Eretria was showing me how she braids her hair.” Amberle still standing glued to the mirror behind her, a deep blush playing over her cheeks.

“Braids her hair? If you mean that bird’s nest on the side of your head.. I wouldn't quite define that as braiding.” Catania threw her bag on her bed and pointed to the side of her skull.

During her jump backwards, Amberle had let go of Eretria's half-finished braid which somehow had turned into quite the mess.

When Eretria finally remembered how to move she figured that Amberle would be mad at her again for freezing up. But when she followed the girl back to her bed were they both buried themselves between their study-material again, she only heard her curse underneath a her breath about her 'terrible roommate with the worst timing in the world', whatever that was supposed to mean.

 

Friday evening when they finally were both done with all of their exams for that semester, Amberle came over to Eretria's room to celebrate their freedom and the start of the semester-break.

Amberle had made her watch a few webseries about a girl in college whose roommate went missing and was replaced by a very gay and broody vampire. She had to admit that she enjoyed the show and even had trouble to stop herself from watching when Amberle wasn't around. The brunette had made her promise that they would only watch it together.

One guy on the show, Eretria believe his name was something along the lines of Kirsch, reminded her from time to time of Wil, both boys seemed like they were easily lost in live, but very sweet and caring with only the best of intentions.

 

Eretria sat cross-legged on her bed with Amberle's head resting on one of her upper legs. The nineteenth episode of the first season was just ending and the sneak peek for the next one was flashing over the screen as Eretria had finally gathered enough strength to address a topic she had been avoiding for the last few days.

“Are you... going home for semester-break?”

Amberle turned on the spot, her head still lying on her lap, now no longer looking at the screen, but in her eyes. “Yes. Tomorrow actually. My train leaves at around 11 in the morning. You will have to go through three whole weeks without me.” She could tell that the smile that was playing around the corners of Amberle's lips was forced.

And she noticed it was just as hard for her to twist her lips upwards to play over the sadness that was spreading through her. “I think I will manage.” The sorrow that came with the thought of not seeing the girl for so long felt unfamiliar to her. Never in her life had she ever felt so uneasy about going to miss someone.

“Do you have any snacks left? I feel the need for chocolate.” Amberle sat up and pulled the laptop closer to start the next episode.

“Sure.” Eretria crawled out of pile of pillows they had placed around them and walked over to her cupboard. When she had just moved into her dormroom she had made the mistake of keeping her snack next to her bed, but that had caused her to get too lazy. To give herself a good reason to leave the bed from time to time she had moved her snacks into a drawer in the cupboard next to her desk. It had been a good decision, her chocolate consumption had dropped remarkably, but now leaving the bed meant leaving Amberle and she had thought about moving her snacks back, if she was honest.

While she rummaged through the drawer, her phone started to ring on her bedsidetable. “Would you mind picking that up?”

“Not at all.” She could hear Amberle's smile in her voice even though she didn't turn around, her concentration focused on deciding between cookies and a bar of chocolate. “Hello. Eretria's phone. Amberle speaking.”

The response to Amberle's greeting was muffled and Eretria couldn't make out a single word or who was on the other side of the line.

Amberle's embarrassed giggle caused her to turn around and mouth “Who is it?”

As the girl on her bed mouthed back “Wil” and blushed from whatever the boy had said in that moment. Eretria could have facepalmed herself for asking her to pick up. It had given the blonde boy one more reason to annoy her and she decided that she needed to get him to stop talking to Amberle as soon as possible.

Out of panic she grabbed the first thing from her drawer and hurried back to the bed.

She didn't bother keeping her voice quiet now. “What does he want?”

Amberle seemed to listen to the rest of whatever her friend was telling her and then spoke up. “Eretria asks why you are calling… Yes, I can put you on speaker.”

Amberle took the phone from her ear and held it in between them after pushing the speaker-button.

“I am calling because we are gonna go dancing tonight.” The voice that poured out of the loudspeaker was unmistakable Wil's.

“We are?” Eretria sounded surprised. Her initial plan had been to spend the night next to Amberle cuddled up in bed.

“Yes we are. There is this girl I met online and she told me to come to this club called Utopia tonight. Apparently they throw raging parties and all of our exams are over and it's the last weekend before semester-break and everyone will be gone. So it's the last chance for a while to do something fun.”

“Wil, you do know that we are both staying here, right?”

A questioning expression appeared on Amberle's face as a response to that. She had probably thought that they were both going home as well.

Eretria whispered, that she would explain it later as Wil's voice resounded from the phone again. “Amberle, are you going home?”

“Yes, tomorrow.”

“See, Tria. There you have your reason. She leaves, so we just need to go dancing.”

“I don't know.” Eretria still wasn't convinced that she wanted to give up on cuddling with Amberle for going to a club with sweating people moving like idiots to terrible music. She placed a hand over the microphone of the phone and turned to Amberle. “Do you feel like dancing?”

“Sure. Why not.”

Eretria could feel her reservations melt away. “Okay. Wil? Dancing it is. What exactly do you have planned?”

“I'll pick you up at nine.”

“Special dress code?”

“Nah. It's a normal party, but please dress nice for once Eretria. Amberle, how do you even like her when she always looks like she got dressed in the dark?”

Before Wil could throw anymore insults at her, Eretria pressed the end-call-button after a quick “See you later, Wil.”

 

When she had placed her phone back on her bedsidetable and turned to Amberle again the girl had a strange expression on her face, that looked like a mixture between worry and curiosity.

“Why are you two not going home?”

“This is Wil's hometown. His mother only lives like twenty minutes from his place.”

“And what about you?”

“Oh. That is a long story.” Eretria was wrestling with herself, if she could open up to Amberle about Cephalo and her childhood. She wanted to trust Amberle with everything, but actually saying it all out loud still seemed impossible.

“You didn't go home for winterbreak either.” It wasn't a question, but the tone of her voice made Eretria look at her again.

“Neither did you, otherwise you wouldn't have ended up freezing on the floor in front of my door.” 

“True, but I am going home now.”

“Why didn't you go home then?” She sounded harsher then she had intended, but the fear of losing Amberle, if she told her the truth and scaring her away had somehow gotten control over her.

“I love my family but it's complicated, especially around Christmas.” Amberle's expression had darkened and grief was reflecting from her eyes.

Eretria only managed to continue when she was sure that her voice had lost the harsh tone and she sounded gentler again. “What do you mean?”

When she saw that tears had started to form in Amberle's eyes she felt terrible for asking and quickly took Amberle's hand in hers. “You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to.”

Amberle dried her eyes with the back of her free hand before she took Eretria's other hand. 

“No. It's.. It's okay. I will tell you. I just need a minute.” After taking a few deep breaths, she continued. “I didn't go home during winterbreak, because.. when I was twelve my dad died a few days before Christmas. He was...”   
Eretria felt her heart sink.  
“He was killed in a home robbery. We had all been to the mall buying presents together and we drove back in different cars. And.. and my dad, my uncle and my grandfather got home before us and they surprised the burglars, I guess. My uncle and my grandfather fought with one of them and managed to keep him there, but the other two attacked my dad and stabbed him. When I arrived with my aunt, my uncle and my cousin we only heard shouting and the breaking of glass and we were told to wait in the car. But I didn't listen and I ran inside and my dad was just... was just lying there and there was blood everywhere and.. and..” The rest of her sentence got swallowed by her heavy-going breathing and the tear where now running down her cheeks.

Eretria still shocked from the sad truth the girl just told her only wrapped her arms around the sobbing girl and allowed her to melt into her embrace.

With one hand she grabbed a tissue from a box on her table and handed it to Amberle, which she gladly accepted. “You would have thought I would have gotten used to talking about it by now.”

“No, it's.. it's completely understandable. I am sorry for making you talk about it.”

“I wanted to tell you for a while, but it's not so easy to tell someone 'Hey, I am an orphan with some messed up stuff in my past', you know?” Her voice sounded muffled against the tissue and her arm.

“Actually… Yes, I do know.” With that sentence Eretria had decided that if Amberle could be honest about her tragic childhood, why couldn't she.

Amberle untangled herself from Eretria's arm to be able to look at her better.

“I am not going home for semester-break, because I don't have a home.” Eretria explained. “Well besides this dormroom.”

She waited for Amberle to say something, but instead the girl just looked at her expectantly.

“I was adopted when I was three years old and my adoptive father was, to put it nicely, a bastard. He used to hit me whenever.. whenever I did something wrong or when he felt like it. He was no.. no father.. and the day I turned eighteen I left and never looked back.”

The breath of relieve she let out as she last words had left her mouth felt freeing. It felt good having Amberle know the truth, though the fear that she would leave her now that she knew about Cephalo was still clinging to her bones.

Suddenly the girl sitting across from her pulled her hands out of hers and she expected her to get up and leave, but instead Amberle flung herself at Eretria.

Her arms were wrapped tightly around her neck and she could feel her warm breath on her neck. But it wasn't before she heard her mumble “Thank you for telling me this.” she was able to hug back.

After a few moments, Amberle stirred in her arms and she leaned back to look at her without interrupting their hug.

The expression on her face was mixture between confusion and pain and Amberle used one hand to pull something out from underneath her knee.

“Is that what you got when I asked you for chocolate?” Amberle had one eyebrow raised and the confusion in her eyes only seemed to grow.

“Yeah.” Eretria admitted carefully.

“It's a pack of mint-flavored bubble gum.” 

“I might have been distracted by Wil's call.” Eretria laughed as she saw how Amberle shook her head in disbelieve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	10. Utopia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the chapter that seemed quite short while I was planning it only to end up being way too long.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading this chapter.
> 
> Please tell me what you thought of it after if you feel like it. ;D

Amberle left shortly after the next episode of the webshow had ended to change her outfit and get ready for the party, leaving Eretria alone with her thoughts about things that could happen during a night out. She had never been much of a party-girl-type, most clubs too crowdy and stuffy in her opinion. But now she had to admit that she actually felt excited to go dancing, if it meant spending more time with Amberle and maybe get her to agree to dance with her.

Standing in front of her open closet she scanned the shelves for an appropriate outfit that would get Wil's approval. In the end she chose to wear her favorite pair of black jeans, her boots, a grey shirt and her favorite orange jacket. She then decided that she would keep her hair down while only using a hair-tie with a flower on it to keep single strands from falling into her face.

 

A knock on her door a few minutes after nine announced Wil's arrival and as she opened the door for her friend he strutted into the room. 

As he reached her bed, he loosened his jacket causing it to slide down and be held by the sleeves in his bent elbows and turned around to her. “How do I look?” Wil then continued to make some weird poses which looked like a mixture between vogue-ing and seizures.

He wore a simple white shirt, blue jeans and a hat with a broad brim on his wild blonde mane.

“Not your worst look.”

“That's all I'm gonna get from you, right?” He grinned from ear to the other.

Eretria responded with a smug smile on her lips. “Absolutely right.” 

“You ready?”

Eretria nodded. “If you are okay with what I am wearing.”

“Could be better, but it will do for tonight I believe.” Wil laughed and strutted back out of the room again. His jacket still hanging in his elbows as he walked towards Amberle's room.

 

Just a few seconds after Wil's knock on Amberle's door had faded away the girl opened her door for them. Eretria couldn't stop herself from letting eyes wander down the girl in front of her to examine her outfit. Besides a gray pair of pants Amberle wore sneakers, a bright blue shirt and a dark red jacket. It wasn't much different from what she wore normally, but the sight still somehow managed make Eretria's hands feel sweaty.

Wil spoke up first and extended her his hand. “Nice to finally meet you. Like personally.”

With a warm smile Amberle took his hand and shook it. “Same here. Heard a lot about you.”

“Only good things I bet.”

Eretria's lips twisted into a mischievous smirk causing Wil only to shake his head in disbelieve as the three of them walked along the corridor, while Amberle looked her door behind her.

 

When they arrived at the club they stuffed all of their jackets onto one hanger to get around the quite expensive wardrobe-fee. With the party being free admission, the club owners must have thought they would get their money by increasing wardrobe and beverage prizes. Wil kept checking his phone, claiming that he was waiting for the girl who had invited him to text him her location.

They hadn't even reached the bar before the blonde boy started to beam, waved his phone in front of Eretria's phone and disappeared into the sea of bodies around them.

 

When they finally had been noticed by the bartender they each ordered a beer and with the cold bottles in their hands, Eretria and Amberle went into the back of the club to find a table. Both girls didn't feel like dancing yet and decided that some alcohol had to be consumed first. 

The music was booming out of speakers from every direction and they almost had to yell at each other while holding their lips close to the other’s ears to communicate.

After a while Wil came up to their table pulling a redheaded girl holding a tray with shots on it with him. The name of said redhead was drowned by the music as she introduced herself to Amberle and Eretria, but she pushed a shot glass in one hand of both girls.

They all clicked their glasses together and with a short glance towards Amberle Eretria put the glass to her lips.

The alcohol burned in Eretria's throat. The girl had handed her something with way too much sugar and artificial flavor in it. As soon as she placed the glass back on the table a new shot was pushed in her hand. 

After downing the third shot the redheaded girl started to whisper-yell something in Wil's ear which made the blonde boy blush furiously. She then led him away while he winked at the girls.

 

One beer later Eretria found herself in a deep conversation about their favorite books when someone approached the table she and Amberle were sitting on.

“Well if that isn't my favorite brunette?” The voice damped Eretria's good mood immediately. “And, I see you found a friend just as pretty.”

“Tye.” She looked up to meet the eyes of the man next to them. Tye was a co-worker of hers, who always made all kinds of inappropriate comments when he saw her.

“Looking good Eretria. And you company as well. “ The tone of his voice was thick and greasy. 

She didn't even try to stop the annoyed eye-roll as a response to his comment.

“What? Not glad to see me?” He grabbed his chest in fake shock.

“No.” She answered with all honesty. ”Wasn't really looking forward to having you ruin my night already.”

Her blunt answer made Amberle raise her eyebrows in shock and her mouth to fall open as if she couldn't believe what Eretria had just said.

“And here I was just trying to get you to introduce me to you very, very lovely friend.” Tye puffed his chest in Amberle's direction which was the final straw for Eretria. Her muscles tensed, the tone in his voice when he had allowed himself to talk about Amberle made her blood boil. 

Amberle must have sensed that she was about to jump Tye, if he dared to say another word, and Eretria felt her warm hand on her upper leg.

The touch immediately relaxed her and when Amberle used her other hand to guide her chin in her direction she finally managed to rip her deathly stare away from Tye. 

Amberle spoke loud enough for her and Tye to hear. “Honey, I am really in the mood for dancing.” 

Her seductive voice immediately pushed the last bit of anger towards Tye out of her thoughts. 

She took Amberle's hand which was still resting on her leg and interlaced their fingers. Gently she pulled the brunette up and they stepped out from behind the table.

“Tye. If you would excuse us, my girl wants to dance.” The boldness of her statement surprised not only her but Tye looked pretty startled as well. Only Amberle threw him a smug grin as they walked by him. 

Eretria blamed the alcohol for her loose mouth.

When they were out of ear-shot she turned to the girl she was still pulling with her. 

“Thank you for stopping me before I could hit this douche-canoe.”

“No problem. A selfish action if I am honest. I wasn't really looking forward to patching you up after you got into a fight during out first few hours of going out.” Amberle's laugh was warm and refreshing that Eretria could help but to laugh along. “But I was serious. I really want to dance.” Amberle added and then took the lead of pulling her on the dance floor. 

As soon as Eretria saw Amberle move to the beat in front of her she forgot about Tye completely and started to concentrate on not drooling from how good Amberle looked.

The song that was playing had a fast and upbeat rhythm and soon Eretria and Amberle were jumping around while moving their arms in weird motions and laughing when the other made an especially weird face or movement. 

Completely lost in the music and the girl in front of her she could really feel the alcohol in her blood now, making her skin tingle, her head to spin and her worries disappear. 

 

At one point with the change between two songs, something changed in Amberle's eyes. The girl stepped closer to hear and turned around, so that her back connected with Eretria's front. As if she knew that Eretria stopped dead in her tracks at the touch, she took her wrist with her hands and placed them on her hips. She then slowly started to move her hips in a circling movement, making sure that Eretria's body was following her. When they had finally reached the rhythm of the song again, she let go of Eretria's wrists and interlaced their fingers while letting her head fall back on Eretria's shoulder. Their breathing was going heavy as Amberle laughed and Eretria tried not to die from what was happening.

As the music changed again, Amberle turned around, Eretria's hands stayed glued on her hips. Even if she tried to remove them she barely had enough strength left to not faint from Amberle's presence. The brunette then linked her hands behind Eretria's neck and threw her head back while dancing with eyes-closed and laughing. Eretria was sure they looked like they were dancing on a high-school-dance. Her hands had now gripped into Amberle's shirt whose hip-movement made it difficult to keep her hands in place.

Eretria's heartbeat felt like it had lined up with the beat of the music and she decided to be brave from once. She loosened her grip on Amberle's shirt and let her hands wander further back until her arms were completely wrapped around Amberle, the movement pulling the girl closer to her.

This caused Amberle to open her eyes and she met Eretria's the smile that spread across her lips was probably the most breath-taking thing she had ever seen.

“You look beautiful.” The words left Eretria's mouth before she could stop them and though she half-hearted prayed that she had said them quiet enough for Amberle to miss it, the red blush that spread on the girl's cheeks told her otherwise.

She felt Amberle's fingers tangle in her hair as the girl connected their foreheads. Eretria's heart was beating much faster than the music now and the nervousness that the alcohol had repressed was now slowly starting to bubble to the surface again.

She saw how Amberle opened her mouth to say something when someone bumped into them, causing them to stumble back a few steps and break their embrace.

The anger on Amberle's face as she glared at the very drunk guy now lying on the floor next to them was something Eretria had never seen before. 

As her eyes found Eretria's again the anger seemed to disappear and turned into something else completely unplaceable for Eretria. Amberle still looked furious, but no longer angry. Her eyes wide open, pupils fully dilated as she run a hand through her tangled hair in frustration.

The next thing she knew was that Amberle had grabbed her hand and was now pulling her away from the dance floor with such a force that she could only follow their girl.

 

The loud bang of the bathroom-door hitting the wall when Amberle pushed it opened startled a group of girls who were retouching their makeup in front of a way too small mirror over the sink.

The girl didn't seem to pay any attention to their confused and surprised gasps, instead she pushed the doors of the stalls until she found an empty one and pulled Eretria in it with her.

Finally she let go of her hand as she turned to lock the door and then reminded standing with her back facing Eretria.

“Why are we..” was all Eretria could manage to say before the girl turned around again and she felt herself being pressed again the cool wall of the stall. 

Amberle hovered over her, one hand on the wall, the other finding its way on Eretria's cheek. With one last look into Eretria's eyes she bent forward and pressed her lips against hers. Frozen from shock for only a second Eretria allowed herself to melt underneath the touch and closed her eyes. Her hands grabbed into the fabric of Amberle's shirt as she tried to pull her closer. The feeling of Amberle's lips moving against her own made her feel like lightning was shooting through her body and her heart felt like it was about to burst in her chest.

The hand that Amberle had used to support herself with on the wall had found its way in her hair and as a reaction she wrapped her arms tight around Amberle to get rid of the last bit of space between them.

The moment their lips parted to gasp for air Eretria used to flip them around, so that now she was pressing Amberle against the wall. A breathless groan escaped Amberle's mouth as Eretria pushed her again the wall before she cover her lips once again with hers. 

They were clinging to each other with such desperation as if they feared they would drown the moment they let go.

As Eretria playfully bit down on Amberle's bottom lip, another moan left Amberle's mouth and she was sure she had never heard anything as hot as the noises she was making.

She slightly shifted her position, her leg now between Amberle's. It took another muffled groan from the girl trapped between her and the wall for her to find enough courage to roll against her, her leg connecting with the center of the brunette. 

At the touch, their kiss broke for a moment and Eretria could hear how Amberle's breath got stuck in her throat. She had both hands now tangled in Eretria's hair and she could feel her fingernails dig into her skin. 

Amberle crashed her mouth onto her lips again and just as Eretria wanted to repeat the motion the phone in her pocket started to ring. 

Startled by the interruption both girls parted, looking at each other with swollen lips and a dazed look in their eyes.

“I really don't want to look who it is.” Eretria mumbled between pressing gently kisses along Amberle's jawline.

“Me neither... But what.. if it's important.” With heavy going breathing Amberle's sentence was chopped and Eretria felt as if her kissing didn't help the girl to speak either.

With one last kiss on her lips, Eretria bent back just enough for her to move her arm away from Amberle's hip to pull her phone out of her pocket.

As her eyes moved over the bright screen and she recognized the number of the caller, it felt as if her heart had stopped. Her face fell and she stumbled backwards, hitting the other wall of the bathroom-stall. Reading the number caused the world to come crashing back down on her and a weight settled on her chest, threatening to suffocate her.

“Who is it?” The voice of the other girl made her look away from the screen for only a moment in which she looked at Amberle and saw the confused and concerned expression on her face.

Seeing the girl in front of her, her heart ached like it had never done before and she could feel panic starting taking over her body.

“I can't.. I..” was all she managed to press out. With the phone still ringing in her hand, she pulled open the door and ran out of the bathroom-stall. 

Behind her she could hear Amberle call her name after her but as soon as she ripped the door the loud music crashed over her like a wave, drowning the voice of the girl. Without looking back she started to move through the crowd. Her eyes fixated on the exit, crashing into people who glared at her furiously, but she couldn't found the strength to care. All she knew was that she had to get out of there, her head was spinning and the weight on her chest was still making it hard for her to breathe.

As she ran out of the door into the winter-night she expected the cold air that crawled in between her clothes to make her start to freeze, had she not bothered to pick her jacket up from the garderobe. But instead of feeling cold, all she knew was that she needed to get away, needed to go somewhere where she could breathe and think again.

The silence fell around her when the phone in her hand had finally stopped buzzing was even worse, felt it as if it was just the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr.  
> http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	11. Shifting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry I left all of you with that ending of the last chapter for so long.

Eretria didn't go home that night. Too high the chance of running into Wil or Amberle or worse. She couldn't risk seeing one of them, wasn't ready to explain herself.

Instead at the end of a quiet street she found a diner that looked like it had seen better days. The waitress didn't pay much attention towards her when she stumbled in, her lips blue from the cold. She was probably used to seeing people stumble into her establishment, dressed way too light for the time of year, looking like they had seen the devil. Instead of commenting on her appearance or expression she placed a coffee in front of her but by the time Eretria had collected herself to drink from it had already gotten cold.

She had placed her phone on the table in front of her, jumping in her skin everything it buzzed. The fear of the caller trying to reach her again clung to her like wet clothes and was impossible to shake off.

The number that had flashed over the screen had belonged to no one else but her father himself. It wasn't the number itself that made her shiver with fear. It was the fact that it showed up on her phone after she had thrown her old phone away the moment she had left the city-limits of the town she had lived in with Cephalo the day she had turned eighteen.

All she could think about was that the number meant that he had found her again.   
But even worse that the fear of Cephalo possible finding her was the guilt of allowing people into her life that were now threatened by him as well.

Eretria couldn't believe how stupid and reckless she had been by believing that her life was her own and that having people close was safe. She should have known that he would find her again. With her behavior she had made it possible for him to hurt her more than he even had been able to in the past. Not just physically, but mentally. She didn't care much about her own life, had she always believed he would kill her before she had the chance to break free from his reign. But the thought alone that he could lay a finger on her friends made her feel like she was suffocating.

 

As her phone buzzed in front of her for the fifth time and no one but Wil had texted her she managed to unlock her phone with shaking fingers to read his messages.

Her friend had texted her that he had found a crying Amberle had brought her home. But the girl hadn’t been able to explain what the reason for her tears was and that the jacket she had left in the club had been given to Zora, who also had clue were Eretria was or what had happened. Wil's other texts stated that she better be alive, so he could kill her for making Amberle cry and leave without any explanation and for him making him abandoning his date. In every second sentence he threatened call the police if she didn't reply soon.

It took her a few tries to find the right words to tell him that she would explain everything later and that she was sorry, before she turned off the phone completely.

Reading Amberle's name in Wil's text caused her voice calling after her when she had left her to echo in her ears again. A knife was rammed through her heart everytime the girl's name and all the memories of her and them together flashed in front of her eyes.

Eretria expected herself to cry, but somehow her cheeks stayed dry.

 

She didn't even notice when the night turned to day again, but when she finally ripped her eyes away from the spot of dried ketchup on the back of the seat across from hers, which she had been staring at for hours, the clock on the wall of the diner showed that it was already way past 11 in the morning.

It didn't feel like she had been sitting in the same spot for hours. After the waves of panic that had rushed over her had stopped, numbness had settled inside her that started to repress all her fear. Only Amberle's name still managed to cut through her making her heart ache, so she forced all the thoughts about the girl out of her mind.

 

Knowing that the girl was probably gone by now, Eretria decided it was safe enough to return to her dorm. She threw a couple of dollar on the table and left the diner. As she stepped out of the door this time, the cold immediately clung to her, making her teeth chatter and she hurried down the streets, her arms wrapped around her.

 

During the next two weeks Eretria did nothing but work. She took double shifts to distract herself from thinking about a certain brunette for even a moment and to tire out herself in order to keep herself from dreaming about her.

The morning after the party when she had gotten home, she had feared to run into Zora, but instead she found a note saying that her roommate had left on a trip with her girlfriend. The part where she had written that Wil had showed up with her jacket and a sobbing Amberle asking about her, Eretria had read too often to count. She knew she was punishing herself, when she picked the piece of paper out of the trash can again, after having it thrown in there a few times before, but she couldn’t help herself. 

She was still avoiding Wil and his texts, only answering with short sentences, whenever he threatened to call the cops again or come over. 

Much too her relieve Cephalo didn't call again, but the fear of him just showing up was still strong. She jumped at every foreign noise outside of her dorm-door or when she heard a male voice on the street. 

More often than she dared to admit her fingers hovered over Amberle's number, but she could never bring herself to call or text her. She didn't know if she would be able to find the right words to explain what had happened, or if those words even existed. 

 

A few days before the new semester was supposed to begin she found herself pacing around in her room once again. She hadn't been able to get much sleep during the last few days. Everytime she closed her eyes either Cephalo or Amberle were there and she didn't know which frightened her more.   
Her room had been cleaned more times than she could count and her boss had forbidden her from coming to work for a while, because she had worked too often in the weeks before than he could allow.  
Unable to calm down for just a moment too, she walked up and down in her room, thinking about what to do. If she stayed still for just a moment too long, everything around her caught up to her and became too heavy again.

Just when she had decided to go on walk, even though around two feet of fresh snow were covering the ground and it was still slightly snowing knocking on her door startled her.

“Eretria. Open up.” Wil's voice slipped into the room. He sounded angry and he didn't stop banging his hand against the door. “I know that you are in there. For fuck's sake, open up.”

Knowing that the boy wouldn't stop before he had smacked the door into little piece if necessary she opened up and a completely drenched Wil hurried inside. His speed of storming into the room told her that he probably feared she could shut the door in front of him again.

“That's enough.” His voice was harsh and determined as he stood in the middle of the room and turned around to her. She was still next to the door, allowing it to fall shut. 

She was too scared to look at him, but she heard the crinkling as he pulled of his jacket and threw it over the heater.

He only spoke again as he stood just a few inches away from her while her eyes were still glued to the floor. “Eretria, what's wrong?” His voice was softer now, but the tone cut right through her. For the first time since she had run from the party, she could feel hot tears burning in her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. “Please talk to me.”

The feeling of his hand falling down on her shoulder made her look up. The worried expression on his face took the rest of the strength she had left in her body and her knees gave out underneath her. She had fallen to the ground like wet towel, but Wil was quick enough to steady her and guided her gently to the ground.

Eretria's tears were now falling freely and she couldn’t help but to bury her face in Wil's arms as he wrapped them around her while the two of them were crouching on the floor.

Wil didn't say anything, he just let her cry in his arms, while gently rubbing circles over her back with one hand, the other protectively placed on the back of her head.

 

When she had no more tears left to cry, she slowly sat back and looked at him. With puffy eyes and quivering lips she wiped away the last few stray tears. 

Wil was looking at her, his eyes filled with worry as he softly stroke the strands of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ears.

“Eretria. What's wrong?”

Her breath was still going uneven, but she knew she couldn't keep quiet any longer. The secret was threatening to eat away her insides, if she didn’t speak up soon. “He.. he called me.”

Eretria could watch the color leave the face of the boy sitting across from her. His brain seemed to work on overdrive, as he opened his mouth only to close it again while he was trying to find the right words to say.

“When?”, he finally breathed out.

“The night of the party.”

“Is that.. Is that why you left?

Eretria only managed to nod.

The boy took her face in his hands, his thumbs gently stroking across her still wet cheeks. “Why didn't you say anything?”

She shrugged before she answered. “I'm scared, Wil.” New tears started to fall and she buried her face in his chest again, as Wil wrapped his arms around her to hold her.

 

After what felt like an eternity of sitting on the floor when all of their limbs had started to stiffen and Eretria's eyes hurt from crying they managed to move. Eretria felt so exhausted that she feared her eyes would fall close any moment now.

Another knock on her door stopped her as she was dragging her feet to her bed to find some sleep.

“One second.” Wil motioned for her to sit down on her bed, while he stretched himself to get rid of the rigidity that had settling in his bones from sitting huddled on floor for too long.

As he opened the door Eretria's glance fell on two policemen standing in the hallway. “Can we help you?” Wil sounded just as surprised as Eretria felt.

The older man of the two spoke first. “We are here to talk to a Miss Eretria Rover.” 

“That's me.” Her voice shook as she finally found her voice. She got up from her bed and immediately Wil was next to her and place one arm reassuringly around her waist.

“What is this about?” Wil asked, causing the policemen to look like they just noticed him.

“Who are you?” The older policeman again.

“Wil Ohmsfort.

“We need to talk to Miss Rover about her father Cephalo Rover.”

Hearing those words and especially the name again, Eretria's head started to spin again and she feared she might lose consciousness. Feeling Wil tighten his grip around her told her that he had felt her moment of weakness as well. “He.. He needs to stay.”

The two policemen exchanged a look. 

“Can we come in? This is rather serious business.” The younger one seemed to have found his voice now.

Eretria and Wil wordlessly nodded while taking a step back allowing them to enter.

“You might want to sit down, Miss.” 

She didn't dare to move. Wil's arm was still around her and probably the only thing keeping her standing at this point. 

Wil repeated his question from before. “What is this about?”

The younger man ignored him. “Miss Rover. We regret to inform you that your father Cephalo Rover was killed in a robbery two weeks ago.” He looked to the older policemen, as if he was not sure how to continue. “It appears that he and two other men were trying to rob a money-transport as the guards opened fire. He was killed, together with his accomplices and one guard.”

“We are really sorry, Miss.” The older one added.

Eretria couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had to hold onto Wil to keep her knees from giving in again.

“What? I... but.. he..” She wasn't able to form one real sentence, her thoughts were flying through her brain making it impossible to grab and hold onto one. Her eyes flickered back and forth between the two policemen.

“We tried to call you, after we found your name on his list of next of kin, but we seemed to have an old phone number of yours in our records and it took us a while to find your whereabouts.”

One of the policemen offered her his card, but she wasn't able to move, so Wil took it instead. “Call if there are any questions. Again, our deepest condolences.”

The two men then walked out of her room and with the sound of the door closing behind them Wil turned to Eretria, his expression telling her he was waiting for her reaction.

It took her a few moments to figure out how to talk and her voice was so quiet that even she had trouble to hear it. “He is dead.”

Wil looked like he was torn between worry and relieve depending on how she would react. “Yes. He is gone. He can't hurt you anymore, Eretria.”

“Or anyone else?” 

“Yes. He can't hurt anyone anymore.”

Hearing the words out of Wil's mouth finally made her realize that she wasn't dreaming, that is was really happening. She let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding and with the air leaving her lungs, it seemed as if all the fear and worry that Cephalo had brought into her life left with it. An unknown feeling of freedom took over her body and the weight that had threatened to suffocate her ever since his number had flashed over her phone screen was lifted off her chest.

She threw her arms around Wil and felt how her friend pulled her into a hug, which caused her to literally loose the ground underneath her feet.

 

They only parted as the name that had started to resound from the back of her mind had gotten too loud to overhear.

“Amberle.” Eretria looked into Wil's eyes, her hands still resting on his shoulders. “I need to fix this. I just... I just left her. We were.. and my phone rung and his number.. and I just left and she must have thought I ran because of her.”  
“Tria. Tria. Stop. Breathe. You are not making any sense.” Wil's face had gotten a slightly confused expression. “You left Amberle because your phone rung when Cephalo called you?”

“Yes, well his number showed up on my screen as caller ID. But she probably thought I ran because of her. I need to explain it to her. I know.. I know I hurt her.. but I have to try right?”

“Definitely. She was a mess when I brought her home that night.” Wil admitted carefully and nodded as he remembered the evening.

“But.. but what if she doesn't understand? What if.. if she thinks I am too messed up?”

“Stop thinking like that. You'll never know until you try.”

Knowing he was right, she tried to put as much determination as she could into her next sentence. “I need to go to her.”

“Now?” His voice was filled with surprise.

“Now!”

“Do you even know where she lives?”

Eretria had to think for a moment. “Not her address, no. But I know the town she lives in. And the address.. I will find out once I am there. How hard can it be to find someone with her name?”

She had already untangled herself from Wil's embrace and ran through the room, while throwing her gym bag onto her bed. Without looking she grabbed the first items of clothing she could find out of her closet and stuffed them into the bag without bothering to fold them.

Wil was just watching what she was doing, with an open mouth. He only stirred as she was done and grabbed her keys while he picked up his jacket from the heater.

“Let’s get you to the train station.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	12. Atlas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long.   
> The last chapter will be posted without this much delay, I promise.

The house belonging to the driveway that Eretria was standing in was huge and its shadow made her feel insignificant and too small.

It hadn't been hard to find out where Amberle lived. Eretria had arrived in the small town that Amberle had told her about a few weeks ago, after taking four different, very slow moving trains and spending the night in a freezing cold train station in the middle of nowhere. When the conductor had announced that their next station would be Amberle's hometown Eretria's nerves had started to get the better of her again. Her hands had started to sweat and her heartbeat had sped up, making her so dizzy that she almost missed the stop.

The old woman working in the flower shop next to the train station had gladly given her directions to where the Elessedils were supposed to live.

“Just follow the main street, honey. After you reach the old gas station, turn left. Follow the road until you reach the second crossing. Their house is the big green and white one at the end the dead-end road to the right. Can't miss it.”

Before leaving she had bought some flowers, white and light purple lilies, remembering that Amberle had told her once that lilies were her favorite flowers.

 

Now she was standing in front of the house the flower-shop-lady had described. The house turned out to be not just big, but huge. The house she had lived in with Cephalo would probably fit into the driveway alone at least three times.

Eretria had to take a few moments to calm herself before she managed to ring the bell. She had caught a glimpse of her reflection in the glass door and flinched. Her clothes were wrinkled from spending the night on a small bench in a train station. But worse than her clothing was her face. The last weeks had taken a toll on her. Her eyes were still puffy from crying too much yesterday and she had bags underneath her eyes from exhaustion and working too many nights without sleep. Her cheeks started to look sunken in, from the many skipped meals.

 

After a few moments of unsettling silence the door was opened by a tall man dressed in typical butlers-clothing. The black bow-tie tight around his neck, he was holding himself elegant as he looked down on her. He looked at her with a slightly stuck-up expression on his face as he waited for Eretria to say something.

“Hello.” Her voice sounded more shaky and insecure than she liked. “Is.. Is Amberle there?”

“Who is asking?” The man in front of her narrowed his eyes as he eyed her suspiciously.

“I'm...” Eretria didn't even really know what her relations to Amberle were anymore so she decided to keep it simple. “I'm a friend from university.”

The butler seemed not completely convinced by her words, but after a few seconds he stepped back and offered her to enter the house.

“Please come in.” He closed the door behind her and motioned for her to stay where she stood. 

Eretria used the moment to look around. She had stepped into a huge, white foyer, much bigger than the house she had grown up in. A big glass chandelier was handing from the ceiling above her and three pillared hallways lead away from the foyer. One on each side of the room and one directly across from the entrance door.  
A long staircase started next to the hallway to her right and lead up to another corridor above the hallway facing the front door. 

“One moment. Please wait here. I will go get her.”

The servant walked up the big flight of stairs on the right side of the room and as he disappeared in a doorframe Eretria felt herself releasing a deep breath.

 

Her fingers were tightly clenched around her bag and the bouquet and the following minutes seemed to stretch on forever.

The sound of two pairs of shoes echoing through the hallway on the left side of the room, made her heartbeat speed up again. Waves of panic rolled back over her again and her mouth felt dry. Not for the first time she thought that coming here had been a mistake and she could have just waited a few more days until Amberle would have come back to university.

 

The palms of her hands had started to sweat as two men stepped out of the dark corridor to her left and stopped in their tracks as their eyes fell on Eretria who was still standing in the middle of the foyer. She felt even more out of place then before. Her clothes probably looked too casual for a place like this and she felt the two men eye her curiously.

The younger man spoke first. She had expected him to sound cold and snobby like the butler had talked to her. But his voice was soft and somehow he sounded like he was just curious what a girl with puffy eyes and wrinkled clothes was doing standing in the middle of his entrance hall. “And who might you be?”

“I'm a friend of Amberle's.” Her voice was trembling again and she had to clear her throat before she could continue. “I need to talk to her.”

While the younger man eyed her still with curiosity the lips of the older man started to turn into a smile. “Nice flowers.”

“What's your name?” The younger man stepped closer.

“I'm...” Her answer was cut off by someone answering the question for her.

“Eretria.” A voice echoed through the hall. Amberle was standing on top of the stairs where the butler had disappeared a few minutes prior. Eretria felt herself flinch at the tone of her voice and her last bit of bravery melted away like ice in the desert. 

Amberle had lost all of the warmth that she usually carried. Now she just sounded cold and in pain. ”What are you doing here?”

With a look to the two men still standing next to her Eretria managed to spit out an answer. “I... I need to talk to you.”

Amberle looked torn. Even from where Eretria was standing she could see the sorrow in her eyes and wanted nothing more than to hug her. But she knew that she couldn't just do that, because she was the reason for Amberle looking so sad. She had hurt her.

Amberle was clearly ringing with herself, making Eretria more nervous.as the minutes passed.

“Okay, fine. Follow me.” Her icy voice cut through Eretria, but she still felt as if a weight had been lifted of her chest, had Amberle just allowed her to try to explain herself.

She threw her bag over her shoulder and started to hurry up the stairs as Amberle turned around and walked back through the corridor leading away from the foyer.

Just before the two men were out of ear shot Eretria could hear them whisper something to each other.

“I think that's her.” She recognized the voice as belonging to the older man and she could hear the smile in his tone. “The one she had been talking about so much over the last few months.”

“If that's her.. then my niece does have good taste. I will give her that. I just hope they manage to fix what ever happened between them.”

Eretria couldn't agree more, all she wanted in that moment was that Amberle would hear her out and she could explain why she had reacted the way she did. She didn't even hope that she would forgive her, she just wanted a chance to explain everything.

 

The hallway was long and at least four doors on each side lead away from it. She followed the brunette in front of her quietly through the house. After a while they turned left when the corridor split into two and climbed up another stair case until they reached a door at the end of the second hallway.

 

Amberle pushed the door open and walked inside and after taking a deep breath Eretria followed her. She could see that this had to be Amberle's room. It was kept in her favorite colors, light green and violet. One wall was plastered with pictures of people Eretria didn't recognize, but on some of them she could make out Amberle's smile between the many unknown faces.

Behind a king-sized bed on the left side of the room a second door led away from the room. The white tiled floor telling her that it was probably a bathroom. On the wall across from the bed stood a huge shelve flowing over with books. In front of the big and bright window was a desk just as full with books and other things like her desk at university.

Amberle stood with the back towards Eretria as she looked out of the window into what looked like a big garden.

As quietly as possible Eretria closed the door behind her and placed her gym bag on the floor next to her.

Hesitantly she took a few steps in Amberle's direction but didn't dare to walk up to her completely.

Her fingers were playing with the string that held the flowers together she was still holding. Thoughts were flying through her mind as she tried to find the right words. “I.. I wanted to apologize.”

Amberle didn't react, so she continued.

“I am sorry for running away that night. I shouldn't have done that. I.. ”

She was interrupted when Amberle turned around furiously. Tears were running down her cheeks and Eretria took a step backwards, taken back by the sudden reaction of the brunette. “Then why did you run, Eretria?” Her voice sounded was shaking, but the pain it carried was still clearly noticeable. “You just left me there, without any explanation.”

“I know. I am sorry.” Eretria repeated. “I was scared. The phone call I got.. it was.. it was.. my adoptive father Cephalo. When I left him when I was eighteen I changed my number and tried by best to hide from him. So that he wouldn't be able to find me again. But seeing that number on my phone.. it scared the crap out of me.”

Amberle looked slightly less angry, but the hurt was still written all over her face.

“And I ran because.. because I thought he had found me again. And I feared that if he did.. he would kill me. Or worse... Hurt the people I care about. Wil. You. The day I ran from him I.. I stole some stuff from him. I knew it was dangerous, but I was a risk I had to take. I just had to get out of there. And with his number showing up.. I wasn't afraid of what he might do to me. More than that I was afraid that finding me meant that he would find... you. And I couldn't.. I couldn't allow him to find you. So I guess I just thought that I had to get away from you, from everything. I just panicked. I am sorry. I am so sorry, Amberle.” Eretria had started to cry, hot tears running down her cheeks and then falling to the ground. She didn't dare to look at Amberle, instead she stared at the flowers in her hand.

A shadow fell over her hands as Amberle stepped closer.

“You.. ran because you thought you would protect me from him.”

It wasn't a question, but Eretria nodded anyway.

“What.. changed?” Amberle sounded confused and some of the icy tone in her voice had disappeared. “Why are you here now?”

Eretria had to clear her throat before she could answer. “The police came by yesterday.. They said that.. they said that.. that he died. Two weeks ago. I got on a train as soon as they left.” She finally able to look away from her hands and her eyes met Amberle's. The girl was still crying and her heart broke for the thousands time when she was reminded that she was the reason for her tears.

She couldn't place the expression that Amberle had on her face and she expected her to get angry again. 

Then Amberle surprised her by closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around Eretria's neck as she pulled her into hug.

Taken back by the embrace, she was too surprised to react at first, but as soon as she felt the warmth of Amberle's breath on her neck she recovered from the shock and returned the hug. The flowers still in one hand she wrapped her arms around the girl's middle and pulled her closer.

Both girls were crying their sobbing made their bodies tremble and their tears leaving stains on their shirts. 

“I'm... sorry. I... am so... sorry.” Eretria managed to press out while she tried to get her breathing under control.

Amberle then loosened her grip around her and pulled back just enough for her to be able to look at her.

The brunette was still crying as Eretria wiped the tears from Amberle's cheeks and repeated her words. “I am so sorry, Amberle.”

A sad smile crept on Amberle's face. Her eyes puffy from crying, but it was a smile nonetheless. “How are you with him.. being dead?” Eretria could tell that she had chosen her words careful in the tone she had asked her question.

“Hearing that he was gone.. it was as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. But.. being glad that he is dead, that it's over.. does that make me a bad person?”

A wave of surprise washed over Amberle's face only to be replaced by despair again. “No. I think it makes you human, to be glad about it being over. You are not Atlas, Eretria. The sky won't fall when you allow yourself to let go of the weight you've been carrying all your life.”

Eretria felt as if the tears that had just stopped falling would start to flow again. Not from sadness, but from relief. Relief that it was over, that the man who had tortured her her entire life was gone and that the girl in her arms understood how she was feeling about it.

Quickly and maybe a bit too rough Eretria wrapped her arms around Amberle again. But the surprised huff Amberle let out when she pulled her in was forgotten as she felt the girl hugging back.

With her hands behind Amberle's back and her head on her shoulder, her glance fell on the slightly banged up flowers she was still holding and an amused smile played around the corners of her lips.

“Before these get totally destroyed..” Eretria stepped back out of Amberle's arms just enough to manoeuver the bouquet between them. “I brought you flowers, but they have looked better, if I am honest.”

“They are still beautiful. Thank you.” From the spark in the girl's eye Eretria could tell that she meant it and the slightest hint of a blush crept on her still flushed cheeks.

While smiling at the flowers Amberle carefully took her out of Eretria's hand, but not without letting her fingers ghost over Eretria's a bit too long. She then disappeared through the door leading to her bathroom and came back a few moments later, the flowers in a glass of water in her hand. Without spilling a drop she cleared a few inches on her desk to make space for the glass and gently arranged the flowers after putting them down.

As if she had gotten lost in thought Amberle stared at them for a moment and mumbled absentmindedly. “Lilies.”  
With Amberle's back still towards her, Eretria stepped closer and gently wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. All of her movements were slow and gently, she feared that Amberle would freeze up and tell her to stop any moment. But instead the girl placed her hands top of hers and gently nestled her head against Eretria's while humming quietly in contentment.

 

After enjoying their embrace for a while, Amberle turned around to her. Her hands were cupping Eretria's cheeks as she stared into her eyes and Eretria could swear that if she wasn't careful she would get lost in them forever. “Just...” Amberle took a deep breath. “Just promise me that you won't shut me out again.”

Eretria gently stroked over Amberle's hands which were still cupping her face, only to mirror Amberle by placing her own hands on Amberle's cheeks. Her voice was merely a whisper. “I promise.”

To give her promise more strength and to show her that she really meant it, Eretria shifted her weight and got on her tiptoes to press a light kiss on Amberle's lips.

She could feel how the girl melted in her arms at the touch and when they parted both girls opened their eyes again to look at each other. Eretria could see that the pain in Amberle's eye had been replaced by their usual warm expression.

With a deep breath Amberle reconnected their lips again, her fingers tangled in Eretria's hair. She could feel the desperation in the way her lips moved against hers as she grabbed onto Amberle's shirt.

But as quickly as the kiss had begun, Amberle broke the kiss before it could get heated, her hands stroking over the tangles she had just created in Eretria's hair.

“As much as I would like to.. continue this.” A mischievous smirk flashed over Amberle's lips and reminded Eretria once more just how much she had missed her. “My family is probably wondering what is going on with me being in a terrible mood and temper for the last few days and now you showing up. I should probably explain everything to them.”

“Even with us looking.. terrible with puffy eyes and tangled hair?”

“About the hair.. I am sorry.” Amberle grinned and failed at another attend to get rid of the mess she had created in Eretria's hair. “But if I am honest, I haven't looked any different the past few days. So they are used to me looking like a hot mess, just.. now I feel very different.”

Eretria smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes as she was reminded again that she was responsible for hurting Amberle. The brunette seemed to catch on her feeling guilty again and she gently pressed a light kiss on her cheek.

“We're gonna be alright.” Amberle's eyes were looking at her with so much kindness in them that Eretria could only believe her and nod while she shook off the uneasy feeling.

Amberle then offered her her hand. “Now? Are you ready to properly meet my family?”

With her palms starting to sweat and her heart beating fast in her chest, Eretria let out a deep breath, forced a smile on her face and interlaced her fingers with Amberle's. “Not at all, but sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


	13. Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating was changed to mature.

Meeting Amberle's family hadn't been as horrible as Eretria had imagined it.

Amberle had to explain some stuff, telling them that they had had a fallout right before she had left, with no time to clear the air. But now they had spoken about it and it was all good again. Eretria was relieved she left out anything too personal about her background.

After that, Amberle's uncle Ander and her grandfather Eventine had welcomed her with open arms, claiming that any friend of Amberle's was welcome in their home. Both emphasizing the word friend, winking at each other, causing Amberle and Eretria to become flustered. Eretria couldn't blame them for not believing them. Amberle's and her behavior had not been very concealing about the fact that more was going on between them just _friends_.

When she had heard Amberle and her family use the word friends though, a part of her was glad that officially they were back to being friends at this point, but the word still stung a little. She knew that they had to figure some things out before they could call themselves anything other than that.

Even the butler warmed up to Eretria after a while. She figured they were all very protective of Amberle and she couldn't blame them. Seeing Amberle in pain because of her was still the worst thing she ever had to witness.

Both girls had decided that Eretria would stay in a guest room for the duration of her stay. They agreed that even though they both wanted the other to stay as close as possible, that they both needed some time to process what had happened.

Eretria wanted nothing more than to be with Amberle, to be all in. But she knew that she was not ready, her past had left her a mess and needed just a bit more time to sort through her feelings. Amberle was still hurting by Eretria's actions, she was working on forgiving her, but sometimes the thoughts still bubbled up and a sting jolted through her. In those moments, she couldn't help herself but to make sure that Eretria was really there, by taking her hand or pulling her into a hug. In those moments, Eretria renewed her promise to not shut her out again, by kissing her cheek or her hand. But that was about as close as they got. Still both scarred from the past few weeks.

 

After checking her bag again after her arrival, Eretria noticed that she hadn't packed really well and sort of ended up with a bag full of socks and a lot of PJs but almost no normal clothes. Her head hadn't been involved in the packing process, had she already been thinking about how to explain everything to Amberle. She ended up wearing a lot of Amberle's old clothes and she caught herself from time to time as the scent of Amberle, still clinging to the clothes crept in her nose, when she buried her face in the clothing and let the memories of their early days take over.

During her stay Amberle had shown Eretria her house and given her a tour through town, showing her all her favorite places, telling her about memories she made during her childhood. Amberle's second uncle had been on a business trip somewhere out of town, so Eretria hadn't had the chance to meet him in person, but Ander had been taking to him on the phone one afternoon when they came back from a walk through town. Apparently Ander had just told him about Eretria and that his niece was finally being her usual cheerful self again and just pushed the phone in Eretria's hands as the two girls entered the kitchen. The man on the phone had then introduced himself as Arion Elessedil and told Eretria that he was glad to hear that his favorite niece had found herself a nice girlfriend, before Amberle ripped the phone away from her. Her cheeks the color of a tomato as she spoke a few words with her uncle and ended the call.

 

As the semester-break was coming to an end, Eretria and Amberle returned to university together on the Saturday before class was supposed to start again.

As Eretria stepped back into her room again while Amberle walked back to hers, she placed her bag onto her bed and started to empty it. She knew that if she didn't start to clean up her stuff right away she wouldn't do it for the next few days.  
Between a few loose socks she found her phone that had been forgotten in the depth of her bag after her last text to Wil that she had arrived in Amberle's hometown. During the few days of her stay she hadn't thought once about her phone, too busy being with Amberle and now it was out of battery. As soon as she plugged the charger in, the screen lit up with many missed calls and texts from Wil.

Just as she opened a new message to answer him that she was back, a knock on her door followed by Amberle's entrance made her forget about her friend again as soon as Amberle's arms were wrapped around her waist from behind.

“I missed you.” Eretria mumbled lost in thought.

“I've been gone for like ten minutes.” Amberle's breath felt hot on her neck and she couldn't help but to turn around and bury her face in her hair.

 

The two girls spend the next few hours in bed, clinging to each other, catching up on Amberle's shows which she hadn't been in the mood to watch for the past few weeks until a loud bang and the door being thrown open startled them.

A wild Wil stepped into her room, his hair messy; lose strands pointing in every direction.

“Hello to you too.” Eretria signed at the sight of her friend.

The confused expression on his face told her that he had expected her to come back to university with a broken heart and that he had thought the door would have been locked. But instead he found Eretria with a grinning Amberle in her arms, both girls not moving an inch away from each other.

“What.. what happened?” He ran his hand through his hair in a miserable attempt to detangle it. “You weren't answering your phone so.. I thought you had gone back to crying and hiding again.”

“Oh, no I am sorry. I just kinda forgot about my phone.”

Wil's expression slowly lost the confused look and turned into a grin as he watched the two girls. “So.. care to fill me in on what happened?”

“Well..” Eretria looked at Amberle, who was still nestled against her side and played with a strand of her hair. “I explained what happened and why I ran. We talked about everything. And we are good now, right?”

Amberle nodded with a light smile.

“Good. Finally. About time.” Wil threw himself on the other side of Eretria's bed and made himself comfortable. “So.. are you two officially dating now?” A mischievous grin grew on his face and Eretria felt herself getting flustered as the heat and color rose to her cheeks.

“We would have to have been on an official date-date for that, I think.” Eretria answered hesitantly, she wasn't completely comfortable talking about Amberle with the girl lying in her arms, giggling quietly while she listened to the two friends.

Wil only rolled his eyes at her response. “So then ask her if she wants to go on a date with you, damnit.”

“You two know that I am right here, right?” Amberle shook her head in disbelieve, but the amusement was clearly written all over her face.

“Yep.” Wil only nodded and pulled Eretria's laptop on his legs, no longer paying attention to the girls.

Eretria could feel her heart start to speed up and her nervousness made her hands start to sweat as she looked at an in anticipation grinning Amberle.

“So do you want to go on a date with me?” The words were spoken more shaking than Eretria had wished. Even though the girl was already lying in her arms she still made her more nervous than anyone she had ever met.

Amberle pretended to have to think about her answer for a moment, a smirk playing around the corners of her mouth before she finally said something. “I would love to.” The girl then pressed her lips gently against Eretria's in short but very sweet and gentle kiss.

They were interrupted by Wil making gaging noise on the other side of the bed. “I am really happy for you two, but please don't be so gross all the time. You are making me feel bad about being single”

Eretria turned towards him. “What happened to the redhead?”

Wil let out a big sign. “She was hot, but her other qualities were lacking. No real conversation was possible with her. But now shut up. I need to show you this vine. I think it's by far my favorite.”

The boy turned her laptop towards them and started to play the video, but Eretria's mind was pulled back to Amberle.  
Some girl in the video started to say: _Welcome to bible-study. We are all children of Jesus._  
But her voice disappeared in the background and Eretria couldn't help but feel overwhelming happiness as she watched Amberle laugh out loud and her eyes flashed with amusement over the video.

 

Some time later when Amberle and Wil had left, both having to run some errands before university started again, Zora came back from her trip with her girlfriend.

The girl burst into the room, her bags were thrown on her bed without looking if they flew actually in the direction of her bed and Eretria was pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

Her roommate still managed to surprise her from time to time with actions Eretria didn't expect. For someone who didn't know her, Zora always seemed distant and cold, but as soon as she warmed up to someone, it was practically impossible to get rid of her again.

“So how was your break?” Zora messed up Eretria's hair with a grin and started to empty her bags into her dirty-laundry basket without even checking if clothes needed a wash.

Eretria shook her head and tried to fix her hair, but smiled at her roommate nonetheless. She had missed her. They weren't that close, but she knew that she had a found a friend in Zora, that she could always count on. “Fine I guess.. How was your trip with your girlfriend?”

Her question made Zora stop throwing her clothes across the room and a huge grin appeared on her roommate’s face. “So much fun. We went to visit her grandparents, who are like the nicest people I have ever met. And the food, man. Her grandparents just know how to cook. And then we road-tripped back to my parents place. We went to all the tourist sightseeing places along the road and pretended we were tourists. And then of course. The motel sex.”

Eretria watched with amusement how Zora daydreamed back to her trip with a smile on her face that was bigger than any she had ever witnessed from her. “Of course.”

But then a shadow fell over Zora's face and she turned to her, while occasionally pulling something that didn't belong in the laundry-basket out of the tangled clothing like a phone charger or a book. “Oh, did you and Amberle talk about what ever happened that night? I was just leaving that evening when Wil showed up here with a crying Amberle. He threw your jacket in my face and instructed me to call him as soon as you showed up so he could kill you. I never got to ask him what that was about. When I told him I was just leaving for next weeks, he just huffed, mumbled 'Never mind.' and left again.. What was that all about?”

“Oh that, was just.. kind of a misunderstanding.” Eretria wasn't in the mood to explain the whole story to Zora right now, so she shrugged it off. “We talked about it, all's good.”

The huge smile reappeared on Zora's face. “So does that mean that you and Amberle finally tied the knot?”  
Eretria laughed at her comment. “Shut up.”

Zora turned completely towards Eretria and threw her now empty bag in a corner of the room as she ran towards her just to point her finger at her triumphantly. “Ha. That was not a no. So you are at least banging her by now, aren't you?”

“We... we are going on a date.”

Zora looked like she was even more excited about that than Eretria. “Uuhh. When? When? Please tell me before, so I can stay at my girl's place that night, so I am not keeping you from doing it.. or walk in on you by accident.”

Eretria rolled her eyes at her roommate's excited behavior. “We haven't set a day yet.”

“Well still let me know.” The other bag followed the first one in the corner. “I am happy for you, you know.”

Eretria had turned away, had it sounded like the conversation was over, but Zora's comment made her face her again.

“I am glad you found some you like.. and someone as awesome as Amberle.. even better. You deserve to be happy.”

The honest smile that Zora was giving her almost made Eretria tear up. She had never told her roommate her full story, but when living with someone it was almost impossible to keep things from them. Zora had witnessed and pulled her out of her nightmares and continued to hold her until she had fallen asleep again. When she had walked in on Eretria changing one time she had seen the scar's Eretria wore on her back, but hadn't asked a single question, as if she had known that Eretria would tell her about them as soon as she was ready.

“Thank you.” Eretria tried to put everything in her answer that she wasn't able to say out loud. She was very thankful for her roommate. Zora wasn't often in their room, but she knew that if she needed her, she only had to call for her and the girl would show up in a heartbeat.

“And for future-bang-moments.. You still know where the scrunchy is right?” Zora laughed and grabbed her laundry-basket.

Eretria threw a pillow after her, but the girl closed the door just enough to yell: “Upper right desk drawer.” and disappeared down the hallway.

 

 

They had set the day for their date on the next Saturday. Both girl had been too impatient to wait that long, but the first week of university had kept both of them busy.

Eretria had had too many ideas and none at the same time. She had been overthinking every idea until she had made Wil choose something for her.

Her friend had decided that they should go to the aquarium, according to him it was the perfect place. Normally it wasn't too crowed or loud and there was a lot to see and talk about.

Eretria had been a nervous wreck as she stood in front of Amberle's room that afternoon to pick her up for their first official date. It was different from their usual hangouts and yet somehow the same.

As if Amberle had sensed her nervousness, she had taken Eretria's hand as soon as they had left the dorm-building and didn't let go.

Eretria hadn't told her what they were going to do, but as soon as Amberle had figured out that they were going to the aquarium, her eyes had lit up with joy and Eretria fell herself fall even more for the girl, if that was even still possible.

She followed Amberle through the dark hallways of the aquarium, everything shimmering in blue, because of the light falling through the different fish tanks. Wil had been right, barely a visitor was at the aquarium that day and Eretria got to listen to Amberle ramble about her favorite fish without any interruptions. Amberle had a deep love for the lionfish. According to her, she loved that the fish looked so beautiful, but when it felt threatened it uses its deadly spikes to get away from enemies.

“They remind me of you.” Amberle had mumbled as they both stood in front of the tank with the lionfish, Eretria behind Amberle. Her arms wrapped around her waist, her head resting on her shoulder, as they both watched the fish swim by.

“Should I be offended?” Eretria asked, a small smile never leaving the corners of her mouth.

“No. You just.. Your past has made you develop these walls, which are almost impossible to get through. One just has to show you that they aren't your enemy, that they don't want to hurt you. You remind me of the fish because you use your walls as spikes to keep people at distance, but as soon as you let someone come close enough, one can see how beautiful you really are.”

Eretria felt a wave of warmth wash through her body and she strengthen her grip around Amberle's waist as she nestled her face in her hair to hide that she was blushing furiously.

 

They stayed at the aquarium until it closed and they had to leave Amberle's favorite spot in front of the big tank containing the reef fish.

As soon as they stepped outside they noticed how it had started to snow some time earlier and everything was now covered deep in snow. The wind seemed to be picking up and the snow-flakes got bigger by every passing minute. They had barely made it down the road when the wind was now so cold that their cheeks were hurting and it became hard to see more than a few feet.

Amberle spotted a small café a few houses down and as they stumbled inside a gust of wind carried them in the room together with lot of snow.

The warmth inside the café was noticeable as soon as they closed the door behind them and they looked around. It was a small establishment, maybe ten tables in total. Besides them, only a waitress and an older couple were in the room.

They sat down on one of the tables in a corner, both sliding on the bench, shaking of their wet jackets to place them on a free chair next to them and to huddle as close together as possible.

The waitress then came up to them, placing a blanket on the table. She was maybe in her fifties, black hair that was starting to turn gravy and deep laughing lines next to her eyes.

“What horrible weather outside. You two look like you could use something warm to drink to get the cold out of your bones again.”

“I would love a hot chocolate.”

“Yes, I would like one as well.”

“Two chocolates coming up in a minute.” The waitress offered them a warm smile that only deepened the wrinkles around to her eyes.

Eretria placed the blanket around the two of them, making sure that Amberle was completely tucked in and then took her cold hands in her own, to warm them.

It didn't take long for the waitress to come back with two cups of steaming hot chocolate and as she placed them in front of them both girl's thanked her and immediately started to warm their hands on the hot mug.

“Call for me, if you two need anything else.”

“Yes, thank you.”

As Eretria took the first careful sip of her drink, she could feel the warmth returning to her body. Next to her Amberle started to giggle as she looked at her.

“What?”

“Nothing. You just have.. moustache.” Amberle answered amused.

Eretria lifted her hand to wipe it away, but Amberle stopped her. “No. Let me.”

Then the brunette leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Eretria's upper lip. She could feel the smile as she adjusted her head to meet Amberle's lips completely to deepen the kiss.

As they parted a few moments later, the red on their cheeks that they had gotten from the cold only seemed to get darker.

 

Some time later, their hot chocolates were long empty, the old couple that had sat on a table on the other side of the room got up and they started to leave. Eretria looked out of the glass-café-door only to notice that the storm had calmed down and just a few lonely snow-flakes were still falling from the sky. It looked like they had gotten about 50 centimetres of new snow and Eretria was already dreading the way back home.

The older couple thanked the waitress for the nice service and smiled in Amberle's and Eretria's direction before the man opened the door for the two of them.

“They are lesbians, Marcus.” The old lady said as she stepped outside and her comment damped Eretria's mood a bit, but then the woman continued. “They remind me so much of how cute Clarke was when she and Lexa just started dating. Isn't their wedding anniversary coming up this weekend?”

“Yes, I think it is, Abby-darling. Maybe we should send them and the kids something nice.”

Then door fell shut behind the two of them, making it impossible to hear them anymore and Eretria couldn't hide her smile.

 

Their walk back to the dorm was cold and snow continued to stick to their shoes and pants as they stomped through the blanket of snow covering the streets. The scenery made Eretria think back to the first time they were walking through a snow-covered town and she had to admit to herself that she was falling for the girl back then already. She had had no choice as soon as she had gotten to know Amberle.

This thought made Eretria stop dead in her tracks, Amberle only managed to make one more step before she was pulled back because their linked arms.

“What's wro..” She only managed to say before Eretria took her face in both hands to pull it closer to hers to kiss her. Amberle let out a sign and Eretria could feel how her hands gripped in the sides of her jacket as Amberle pulled her towards her.

After a few wonderful moments of Amberle's lips dancing against hers, the brunette broke the kiss and pushed a strand of Eretria's face. “Listen.. as fun as kissing you is.. I am starting to loose feeling in my toes.. Can we please go back to the dorm?”

“Yes.” Eretria laughed as Amberle planted another quick kiss on her lips before they continued their walk home.

 

When they arrived in front of Amberle's dorm-room, the girl turned to unlock the door, but didn't open it yet. Instead she turned around again, Eretria didn't know who moved first, but Amberle's lips crashed against hers and the world around them disappeared.

When they parted after half of an eternity later, both of their breaths were going fast.

Amberle placed her forehead against Eretria's. “I don't want our date to end yet.”, she admitted honestly.

“It doesn't have to.” A mischievous smirk crawled on Amberle' face as she grabbed Eretria by the collar of her jacket, opened the door with her free hand and pulled her inside the room.

Amberle closed the door by pushing Eretria up against it, the kisses they shared became more heated by the minute.

They struggled to take off their jackets and wet shoes, because neither of them was able to keep their hands off the other long enough for them to get rid of a piece of clothing.

Eretria's mind was running wild, but still one single thought managed to surface through. “Catania?” Her question was breathless.

In between kisses Amberle mumbled something along the lines of: “Still.. visiting.. Bendon.”

And Eretria forgot about the world again as she felt Amberle's hand gently guiding her towards her bed until the back of her legs hit the wood and she sat down, Amberle moving to stratle her.

Eretria allowed her hands to wander underneath Amberle's shirt, drawing circles on the warm skin on her back. This caused Amberle to start to press little kisses along her jawline, gently nibbling her earlobe as her hands found their way underneath Eretria's shirt as well. At first she could feel Amberle's fingers on her stomach but they soon wandered to her back. Eretria was a bit confused at first as Amberle's movements started to slow down until she realized what Amberle must have been feeling as she touched her bare back. She had completely forgotten about the scars on her back. Out of fear and instinct, Eretria broke the kiss and pushed her shirt down again as Amberle pulled her hands back.

As Eretria looked in Amberle's face she could see her worried expression and she looked like she was waiting for Eretria to push her off her lap.

It took Eretria a deep breath to gather her courage as she kissed Amberle gently again.

“I have to show you something, I think.” She could feel the knot in her throat that was there every time she had to talk about her past. “I have scars on my back from an accident when I was a kid. I fell in a fence when I was trying to get away from my father one time and my back was ripped open. Cephalo didn't do anything to help them heal, which is why my back looks.. horrible.”

Amberle just nodded as she spoke. “Can I.. see them?” Her voice was careful and quiet as if she was afraid to that she could scare Eretria off again.

Her eyes were so warm that Eretria's fears melted away with one look.

Slowly she nodded and they both stood up from the bed. Before she could change her mind she turned around her back towards Amberle, her heart beating fast as she pulled off her shirt.

Eretria was just waiting for Amberle to say how disgusting her scars are, instead she quivered underneath the light touches and gently strokes over some parts of her back as Amberle touched her. She could feel Amberle's fingers following some scars and the girl moved her bra at one point to follow a longer scar that run over her spine. But it was the soft kiss that she placed on her left shoulder blade were she had a big scar that removed the last bit of worry.

“Thank you for showing me this.” Amberle murmured as she kissed her neck.

Eretria could feel her reservations melt away and she couldn't help but turn around and buried her face in Amberle's neck. “Thank you for not making me feel like I am a monster.”

She hadn't planned that Amberle had heard what she had said, but the girl pulled back and took her head in her hands so that Eretria had to look at her. “No no no no no.” Amberle's eyes were wide with shock. “You are not the monster here. Your father was a monster. You. Are. So. Brave.” With every word Amberle placed a kiss on her. “The bravest person I have ever met. Sure, you can be a bit closed off and cold towards the world, but with your past and I am sure that I only know a part of it, no wonder. But you still turned out so so beautiful.” Amberle pushed some strand of hair that had fallen in Eretria's face behind her ears. “Listen to me, Eretria. You are so so beautiful.”

She could see tear form in Amberle's eyes as the girl pulled her closer and pressed her lips against hers.

The two girls then moved onto the bed again, but the hunger from before was forgotten. Eretria felt exhausted and Amberle seemed to understand. They simply laid next to each other, looking at the other like they couldn't believe that the other was there, occasionally a gently kiss was pressed on a body part, until they fell asleep. Arm in arm, Eretria still without a shirt and Amberle wearing her daily clothes.

 

Sunday morning Eretria woke up from the sun shining through the half-closed curtain directly on her face. That fact alone confused her, seeing as the sun was never shining in her dorm room. She then remembered last night and noticed that she was alone in Amberle's bed only dressed in a bra and her pants. A quick glance on the clock on the bedside table told her that it was already midday.

While wondering where Amberle went, she changed into a top and a pair of sweats from Amberle's closet. When she remembered how good it felt to have Amberle sleep in her arms again, she understood why sleep had been almost impossible during the time Amberle was away and she couldn't stop the smile that crept on her face.

The brunette girl came back a few minutes later, claiming that she went to the bakery for some hot chocolate and fresh croissants. After kicking her shoes in a corner Amberle crawled back underneath the blanket to Eretria and seeing the girl dressed in sweats and her hair pulled up in a messy bun, Eretria couldn't help to think that she had never seen anyone look more beautiful in her life. She pressed a soft kiss on Amberle's cheek before taking a sip of her cocoa as the girl handed her her cup.

While they both were enjoying their late breakfast Amberle turned on the radio and hummed along to the songs that were playing.

At one point the moderator announced the next song and a huge smile spread across Amberle's lips. “Yessss. My favorite.” The girl then jumped out of bed, turned the volume up and as soon as the first few chords were flowing from the speakers Amberle started to dance around like a maniac.

Eretria couldn't help herself but watch her in awe for the first few moments, before Amberle took her hand and pulled her up so she could join her.

Their dancing was very different from the club, more jumping than anything else. The people living in the room under Amberle's must have thought that their neighbors had gone completely nuts.

When the song changed into something not that upbeat, Amberle turned the volume down again, before turning to Eretria, grinning, her breath still going fast.

“Well that was fun.” Amberle laughed.

“Yes.” Eretria said quietly as she stepped closer. Watching Amberle move always did something to her and she kissed Amberle, the hunger from last night returned the moment their lips touched.

Amberle's hands wandered in her hair, her fingernails scraping her skin as she pulled the girl near. Her hands found the hem of Amberle's shirt and she stopped for a moment, waiting for the girl to give her the permission to remove the shirt. Amberle gladly granted her wish and allowed her to pull of her shirt only to plaster her jawline as her top hit the floor. Eretria let her hands wander across Amberle's warm skin and pushed her close to the bed, while Amberle pulled Eretria's shirt off of her.

As Amberle's legs hit her bed she let herself fall down and pushed herself further on it. Her head hit her pillow and somehow her hair had come loose and was now spreading over her bedsheet. Eretria crawled after her, gently placing herself in between her legs, hovering over her for a moment, looking for any signs that might tell her to stop. But instead Amberle just shyly bit her lip and took Eretria's breath away by how she sexy she looked. Then Amberle wrapped her arms around her neck again and pulled her back down to her.

Eretria let her lips wander down Amberle's neck, gently nibbling on the skin with her teeth, only to smooth the spot with her tongue.

Her hands found the clamp to Amberle's bra and carefully she removed the piece of clothing. She let her eyes take in the girl lying braless in front of her, but as she looked at Amberle's face again, she could see that the girl had flushed cheeks and tried to cover herself. Eretria gently removed her arms. “Don't. Please.” As her lips found Amberle's again, her hands wandered to her back.

Carefully Eretria placed one hand over Amberle's breast, her thumb stroking over her nipple, feeling how the sensitive skin hardened underneath the touch, while her mouth started to leave a trail of kisses running from her neck to her other breast. Amberle let out a deep breath and her nails dug in the skin on Eretria's back but then the girl kind of stiffened underneath her and Eretria couldn't but wonder if something was wrong. She moved her head so that she could look at Amberle better.

The girl was clearly ringing on finding the right words to say. “Is it.. okay.. if I.. scratch.. your back?”

Eretria couldn't help but laugh at Amberle's question. The girl was all flustered and cute and cared so much about her. She felt her heart swell in her chest.

“Yes, of course. I would actually really like that.. because then.. I have markings on my skin that will remind me of you and not just my past. And I would much rather think about you and all of this when I look in the mirror.”

Amberle smiled in relief.

“Now.” Eretria kissed her hungrily before moving further down again to pay attention to Amberle's breasts. “Let me show you how beautiful you are.”

Her lips found Amberle's nipple again and Eretria couldn't get enough of the moans Amberle let out when she bit down on the soft flesh or how her breathing changed as her mouth wandered down her stomach.

When she finally removed the sweats Amberle was still wearing, Eretria followed by taking off her own pants after a few second of struggle. Pulling off pants was much easier when one was lying on their back, instead of kneeling on a bed. Their laughter echoed through the room and when Eretria returned to her possible between Amberle's legs to nibble on the soft skin on her thigh Amberle's giggle turned back into moans.

“Please.” Amberle's breath was going heavy and one hand was grabbing into the fabric of her blanket, as the other one found its way into Eretria's hair and gently pulled her up so that she could look at her. “Eretria, please, I need you to touch me.”

Eretria happily complied to Amberle's wish. Somehow she managed to remove her underwear without too much struggle and settled in front of her.

Her arms around her thighs to be able to keep Amberle in place, she started to press soft kisses on her skin, coming close to where Amberle needed her with every touch.

The way Amberle moaned her name when her lips finally closed around the bundle of nerves, made Eretria shiver. When her tongue started to move over Amberle's clit a series of deep moans started to leave her mouth. Waves of shivers seemed to wash over the girl every time she kissed her center.

Eretria removed one arm around Amberle's thigh only to push a finger into the girl without any warning. Amberle's hips buckled and Eretria's name was overcome by a moan again. Her hands were gripping into the sheets. With every movement of her finger her tongue danced over her clit and Amberle groaned deeply.

 

Amberle came with a lot of noise and Eretria loved every second of it. Every moan leaving Amberle's lips, every time she breathed out her name.

 

It took a few moments for her breath to even out, after Eretria had removed her finger and she pulled Eretria back up into an eager kiss.

Amberle then quickly flipped Eretria on her back, her lips twisted into a hungry smirk.

Without much fuss Amberle removed Eretria's underwear and bra. One hand kneading her breast Amberle placed the other over Eretria's clit and watched with a grin how the girl squirmed underneath her as she moved her thumb over it.

She then let her hand wander further down and pushed two fingers in Eretria and Eretria couldn't help but to pull Amberle's face to hers and place hungrily took her bottom lip between her teeth.

Amberle then started to pump her finger in and out of her, making it impossible for Eretria to keep kissing her. Instead she just stared at Amberle, trying to keep her eyes open so she could look at the goddess that was currently fucking her.

 

In comparison to Amberle, Eretria came silent, Amberle's name on her lips.

While Amberle was still sitting on top of her watching Eretria recover, Eretria used the moment to cup Amberle's center again.

With a mixture of pleasure and smirk on her face Amberle realized was she was doing as Eretria pushed two fingers inside her and pressed the palm of her hand against her clit.

She then sat up to get a better angle as their bodies were flushed together and Amberle started to grind down on her hand, Eretria welcoming her movements by pushing her fingers deep inside her. Amberle's hands had found their way back to her back again and her nails dug deep in her skin.

 

She bit down on Eretria's shoulder when she came and Eretria couldn't help but think that that was going to leave the most beautiful mark.

Amberle's body was going limp and both girls fell back into the pillows, Amberle moving to lay only half on top of her, throwing a blanket of the both of them. Eretria loved how her naked skin felt so warm against Amberle's and she couldn't help but press a kiss on her hair.

“Damn. They were right.” Amberle said in a very grumpy tone after they had laid in silence for a while.

“What? Who was right about what?” Eretria ran her fingers through Amberle's hair.

“Well, our friends.. With them being so annoying about us being a.. thing.” Her fingers danced across the soft skin of Eretria’s stomach.

“But we are a thing, aren't we?” Eretria said, not being able to hide the worry in her voice, about the 'thing-part'.

“Of course.” Amberle murmured in approval as she pressed a kiss against Eretria's lips. “The best thing.”

Eretria could only laugh at her response, Amberle could be so cute. “But I honestly don't know why they were so insisting about us being more than friends. I didn't even see Wil that often during the time we met.”  
“Maybe that's why.. maybe it was suspicious that you were hanging out more with me than him.”

“Hm. Maybe.” Her hand was drawing small circles on Amberle's back and the girl shivered.

“And Catania and Bendon being so annoying and inviting you to everything was probably my fault. I might have talked about you. A lot.”

“You talked about me?” Eretria was surprised to hear that.

Amberle nodded and blushed a bit. “Yes, I think I was really testing their patience with my 'Eretria did this, Eretria said that'.”

Eretria laughed and her lips found Amberle's. “You are adorable, you know that right?”

“Yes, but I still like hearing it.”

 

The sun had been long gone and the two of them were still in bed. They had moved a few times and had even gotten dressed decent enough to go to the bathroom and get snacks from Eretria's room. Now Eretria was leaning with her back against a pile of pillows, Amberle's head on her stomach as she was lying between her legs, her laptop on her stomach and Eretria playing with her hair.

Their togetherness was interrupted by a loud bag as the door flew open and a tiny blonde girl shuffled into the room, cursing like a sailor while pulling a suitcase behind her were one of the wheels had broken off.

Both girls jumped at the noise and Eretria could see worry in Amberle's face who was now sitting. She probably worried about Eretria getting cold again and shutting her out again. She could feel herself being uncomfortable with the situation, but the urge to be close to Amberle easily overpowered her will to flee. So Eretria quickly pulled her closer to her again, so that she could rest again her front. A wave of relief washed over Amberle's face as she nestled closer and took one of Eretria's hands in her own.

“Hello to you too.” Amberle huffed sarcastically and reminded Eretria how Wil had burst into her room with the same amount of noise a few days ago.

This made Catania stop dead in her tracks. Apparently she hadn't noticed the two girls on Amberle's bed, but as she turned around her lips twisted into a big grin. “Hey guys.”

Eretria only lifted her free hand to give her a quick wave, while smiling.

By now Catania had managed to pull her suitcase far enough into the room for her to be able to close the door and she let herself fall down on her bed, her breath going fast form the struggle with the trunk.

“I am never using that fucking thing again.” Catania mumbled before sitting up again and adjusting her clothing again.

“I told you like a hundred times to throw that thing out. It made you miss your bus at least twice before.”

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t enough money for a new one though.” Catania grinned before continuing. “Anyway how was your weekend? You had a date yesterday right? From the looks of it, it went better than great?”

She motioned across the room, different pieces of clothing where still lying on the floor and Eretria's bra had managed to get thrown onto the lamp next to Amberle's bed.

“Yes, better than great.” Amberle smirked and placed a kiss on the corner of Eretria's mouth.

“With you two being a thing now.. If you think you can use this arrangement to kick me out when you want to have sex.. too bad your roommate..” Catania pointed towards Eretria. ”and I are both already dating someone. I can't go over there looking for a place to stay and just fall in love with Zora.”

“Well you could.. but no we are not that mean.” Amberle shook her head.

“What if I am that mean?” Eretria said mischievously while raising one eyebrow.

Amberle lowers her voice, but not enough for Catania not to hear her. “We are not gonna throw-throw her out. We are just gonna start doing.. what we did this morning again and if she doesn't want to watch she is gonna have no choice but to leave..”

Eretria hummed in approval. “I like the way you think, woman.” Her thoughts wandered back to their morning and she pulled Amberle in for a kiss as she slipped her hand underneath her shirt making Amberle giggle.

They were forced to separate when a pillow hit Eretria in the side.

“Hey.” Both girls turned towards Catania, fake anger playing over their faces.

“I heard that. And no funny business now please.” Catania laughed. “I have to prepare some stuff for university tomorrow. If you want to continue this you will have to move to Eretria's room and hope that Zora isn't there.”

Amberle sighted defeated and started to peel herself out of Eretria's embrace. “As much as it pains me to say: she's right. We should move.”

Eretria allowed Amberle to pull her up with her and then started to collect her clothing from different corners of the room.

As she opened the door to the hallway, Amberle stepped close to her and pulled her into a kiss that made her almost lose the clothes she as holding. The thought that she only lives a few doors down was comforting, but somehow it still seemed too far away at the moment.

They stood kissing in the doorway for so long, that Catania had to throw another pillow in their direction to break them up.

Eretria then winked at Amberle before quickly kissing her one more time. “Well, if you need to get away from that very, very rude roommate of yours, you know where to find me, if you are looking for shelter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or questions or just want to yell at me, come talk to me on tumblr. http://lilucath.tumblr.com


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